The Letter
by gotToluvAnime
Summary: Michiru found a letter inside a book. She replied and soon found she was conversing to someone she doesn't even know. Discover how something significant in life can be found inside the letter. A sad yet sweet story about love in a diff. angle. 2 endings
1. Chapter 1

**AU**

**R&R**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

A blonde woman wearing a dark green dress shirt and a pair of brown pants went inside a public library. She then walked herself to the novel area to find herself something to read. Like any other day, she began scanning some books to read. She picked the books up one by one and looked at every last page of each and every book. She then settled for a book with red cover and a gold stripe line on the middle where the title is displayed.

After finding something to read, she sat on the left side of the library near the window. She then opened the book and turns it to chapter one. After an hour, she was almost finished reading chapter three of the book. She paused and let out a yawn as she stretched her arms up, again an indication that she was bored. She closed the book and stared at view outside.

_'Another boring day...' _the blonde sighed as she lets out another yawn.

She stared back at the book and dug her right hand on her pocket and found something soft inside.

_'tissue?' _she pondered. She put it out and laid it on top of the table. She then grabbed the pen which is placed in every table and wrote something on the tissue.

Finishing the last word, she placed the tissue inside the book. She stood up, picking the book up with her right hand, and returned it back to its respectful place. With another glance, she left the library and headed herself to work.

After two hours, a woman with long and wavy hair, portraying the color of the sea, entered the public library. She wore a gray sleeveless shirt and a white knee length skirt. She greeted the librarian who in turn greeted her back. She then walked to the novel area where she usually looks for something to read.

She checked each and every book aligned and found that she almost read everything. She stopped and grabbed a red book with gold stripe line on it _'I haven't read this one before...'_

After deciding what to read, she walked over to tables beside the window. Sitting down (a/n: she sat opposite to where the blonde sat.), she then began to read the book in her hands. Chapter after chapter, she read nonstop, until she took a glance at her watch and saw that three hours had already passed. She then closed the book and took a glance at the view outside. The sun was already setting down only an indication that her work will soon be starting.

She then stood up and was about to pick the book up until she saw a white paper inserted in between the pages of the book. She then sat herself back and opened the book, turning to the page where the piece of white paper was inserted.

_'Tissue?' _she said to herself. She was about to throw the tissue, when she noticed something was written inside. She opened the tissue and as it was, something was written on it

"_**it is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely...**_

_**H.T"**_

After reading the note inside, the woman can't help herself but to reply onto this note. She then grabbed the pen on the table, and wrote something back on the tissue. As soon as she finished writing, she placed the tissue inside the book. She then stood up as she grabbed the book up and walked back to the shelves and placed the book to its respective place. With another glance, she left the library and headed herself to work.

* * *

**-Next Day-**

Like any day, the blonde woke from her sleep and went to the bathroom and ook her shower. After shower, she then dressed herself up with her usual outfit: a dress shirt and a pair of pants. She then walked out of her apartment and headed herself to the restaurant which is 2 blocks away from her apartment. The restaurant is where she always has her lunch each and every passing day. Upon arriving, another group of people welcomed her and were asking for her autograph. As always, she gave her fans a smile and signed the posters they're holding. Bidding her fans goodbye, she went inside the restaurant and had herself a lunch.

After lunch, she went out and walked the streets of Tokyo. As she took a stroll, she then passed again the public library. Without any second thoughts, the blonde went inside. Like the other day, the blonde went to where the novels are. She then scanned the books on the shelves and noticed the book she had read yesterday. She grabbed the book and went to sit where she sat yesterday. Remembering the chapter where she left off yesterday, she then turned the page to chapter three. As she was turning the pages of the book, she noticed a white paper inserted in between the last page of chapter three and first page of chapter four. She then turned to that page and saw the same tissue she placed inside yesterday. She grabbed the tissue and subconsciously opened it and found a different handwriting below hers..

"_**You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're with...**_

_**M.K"**_

"_**ps: your note is a rip off from Einstein... am I right?"**_

As she was reading the last line from the letter, she gave out a soft laugh. It was been ages since she laugh, a genuine laugh that is. She then folded the tissue and placed it inside her pocket. She stood up and walked over to the librarian

"Excuse me, Miss..." the blonde spoke as looks closer to the name tag of the librarian, she continued "Miss Ayano, do you have any piece of paper that I could write on?" flashing the librarian her most charming smile.

"Ha..Hai!" said the woman who only blushed profusely in return as she hands out a piece of paper at the blonde.

"Arigato." She winked as she received the paper. She then walked herself back to where she was sitting before.

As she sat down, she placed the paper on top of the table and grabbed the pen. She then began to write her reply to her mysterious replier. Writing down the last few words, she put the pen down and folded the paper crosswise. She placed the paper inside the book and stood up from the chair. She picked the book up and walked back to the shelves and returned the book to its proper place.

_'Hope to read from you soon...' _she said to herself with such great hope for tomorrow.

With another deep sigh, the blonde woman left the library and went to her work.

* * *

**AN:** **that's the end of chapter 1!! hope you liked it!! I wouldn't mind reviews!!**

**I wanted to write this after hearing a story from my friend... I just wanted to write how simple things could have a big effect on someone's life... yeah that's just about it...**

**Thanks for reading and I hope I get to thank someone in the next chapter for reviewing...haha**


	2. Chapter 2

**AU**

**R&R**

**Edited version.. I tried and found out that I wasn't good at it... **

* * *

**Chapter 2**

A ray of sunshine illuminated the sky blue colored room. A woman with aquamarine hair woke up from her sleep as soon as the sunlight hit her face. She stood up and she stretches both of her arms and after, went to the bathroom. Taking her clothes off, she then took her shower. After an hour, she went out of the bathroom and headed herself to her dresser. Picking up clothes one by one, she then found a perfect dress to wear for the day. Taking another look at the mirror, she grabs her purse and went out.

_'Another day, another work...' s_he said to herself as she went downstairs of the apartment building. Walking the streets of Tokyo, she then headed herself to the school.

**--0000000000--**

_Michiru Kaioh,23 years of age, started living in Tokyo at the age of 21. She was alone when she went to Tokyo. She knew nobody and knew nothing about the city. Her parents died when she was 20 and her relatives disowned her, leaving the woman all alone. She went to Tokyo to find herself a job that could sustain her needs and as well as some wants. She worked at a kindergarten school for 6 months and found out that her salary wasn't enough to be living in such city. So she decided to find another job with higher salary. Now she's working as a music teacher at day and as a waitress at a coffee shop at night. Though teaching and waitressing doesn't pay much but working two jobs were enough to keep her out from skipping a meal. _

_**-**_**--0000000000--**

As she was walking, she saw a group of people around a certain blonde woman standing in front of a restaurant

_'She must be famous to have people wait for her each and everyday...' _she thought to herself as she continue to walk pass the restaurant. She stopped at a red light and waited for the green light to show. A couple of minutes pass when the green light flash, indicating the people it's okay to walk. She then crosses the street and walk directly to the school which is three buildings away. Reaching the four storey school building, she walks inside and went to the music room where her 15 students are waiting for her arrival.

"Ohayo!" the aquamarine haired beauty greeted her class.

"Ohayo Kaioh-sensei!" as the class stood up and greeted in unison. The woman waved her hands down making the whole class sit down on their chair.

"Let's continue practicing yesterday's song." The students in return picked their respective instruments up and started playing.

After three and a half hours, Michiru stood from her chair and clapped both of her hands, making her students look at her "Okay that's enough for today. Practice the song at home. And I'll see you all tomorrow!" as she waves her hand and walked out of the room.

She then went outside and walked to the place where she always spends her time before her other work starts. She reached the public library and went inside. Like yesterday or any other day, she greeted the librarian and walk straight to the novel section. She then looked for the book she read the other day. A smile grazes her lips as soon as her eyes met the shiny red book. She walks over to the tables and sat at the same spot as yesterday. She opens the book and turn to the page where she had stopped. She then saw a piece of paper but different from what she had seen the other day. She picks the paper up and like yesterday, she notice something was written inside. Truth to be told, she wasn't 

expecting a reply but was expecting that what she wrote the other day would be the last of it. She opens it and read what was written inside

"_**I have a lot of people around me that I like yet I'm still lonely. What then makes people lonely?**_

_**H.T"**_

"_**ps: you're right about my note. And yours was no different." **_

She let out a soft laugh as she read the last line of the letter. As soon as she finishes reading, she felt a sudden urge in her heart telling her to reply to this letter. She subconsciously pick the pen up and wrote something at the bottom of the paper. Folding the piece of paper, she then inserted it in between the pages of book. She then continued to read the page where she had left off. Hours again pass and the sun was setting down. The woman stood up and went to the bookshelves as she returns the book to where it was before. Giving her farewell to the librarian, she finally walks out of the library and went to her second job for the day.

* * *

**-Next Day-**

After having her lunch, the blonde then left the restaurant and walks to the public library. She reached the public library and went inside. Directly heading to the novel area, she again looked for the same red colored book as before. She scans up and down, left and right to find the same red book. As soon as she found the book, she went to her usual spot and sat on the chair. She opens the book, turning each and every page with heart beating incredibly fast. She then found what she was looking for. She picks the paper up and without any hesitation she opened it. She smiled as she saw the same handwriting as yesterday.

"_**People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges...**_

_**Let people get inside of you... then maybe… just maybe**_

_**you wouldn't be lonely..**_

_**M.K"**_

"_**ps: I never thought that someone would notice. That makes the two of us then..."**_

After reading the letter, she folded the paper crosswise and inserted it inside pocket. She then stood up and like yesterday, walked to the librarian. She asked the librarian for another piece of paper with her charming smile that nobody could even deny to, welcomed the other lady. The librarian, like yesterday, blushed profusely and nodded as she gave a piece of paper to the blonde.

She thanked the librarian and went back to where she was sitting. As she sat down, she places the paper on top and grabs a pen from the table and starts writing down something to reply. As Finishes, she folded the paper and inserted it in between the pages of the book. She then stood up and picks the book up and returned it to where it was before. She then walked out of the library and went to work.

As soon as she was outside, she looked up at the sky and smiled a bit out of her character. She started walking still her head up in the sky. But as soon as she started to look to where she was going, a woman took her by surprise.

**#Thud#**

"Gomene.." the blonde apologizes as she helps the smaller woman up

"It's okay..." the woman replied in return as she brushes off the dust in her skirt

"Gomene, I wasn't looking to where-"

"Iie. It's really okay. I'm fine." smiled the woman as she turns around and started walking inside the library. The blonde woman in turn only nodded and walks opposite direction to her.

* * *

**-Michiru's POV-**

I finished my day job very early this time and like always, I headed straight to the public library to kill my free time. As I reached the library, I noticed that a blonde woman was walking closer and closer to me. I was about to warn her, but was too late in doing so. The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the ground and her hand was held out to me. I hear her apologize sincerely. I stood up and brushed the dust off my skirt and replied to her that it was okay. Then I heard her apologizing again, I smiled as I turned to look at her and told that her I was fine. I turned around and started walking inside the library. As I reached the door, I looked back at her and saw that she started walking

_'She sure looks familiar...' _I wonder to myself, and gave it some time to think of who. I gave and decided to enter the library. I greeted Ayano-san who in turn also greeted me back. Like always, I walked straight to the novel area. But today was different though, I started looking for the red book that I had finished reading yesterday. I found the book, and went to sit at the same spot ever since I started reading this book. I sat down and started turning every pages of the book and looked for a piece of paper. I stop as soon as I found what I was looking for. I picked the paper up and opened it. Like yesterday, a similar handwriting was written on the paper.

"_**A word of wisdom from my mysterious replier... Helpful indeed...**_

_**Would you then cross the bridge if I build one?**_

_**H.T"**_

As I read the last line of the letter, I felt my heart aching; it is as if I was feeling the writer's feeling of loneliness at that moment. I smiled weakly as I clenched my right hand over my chest. With another deep breath, I grab the pen and started writing on the paper below her note. After writing, I folded the paper and placed it inside the book. I stood up and returned the book to its proper place. After that, I grabbed another book for me to read, and as time passes, the sunlight coming out from the window started to dim. I looked out the window and notice that the sun was setting down. I pick the book up and returned it back. Then I walked out of the library and headed myself to my next job.

* * *

**-Next Day-**

Walking to the library wasn't anything new to the blonde. When she started writing something down and placed it inside a book, she had been going to the library each and every single day hoping to read a reply from her mysterious replier. She walks inside the library and headed straight to where the novels are. She then scanned the shelves and looked for the same red book as before. She grabs the book in her hand and went to sit to her usual spot. As she sat down, she started turning the pages one by one and found what she was looking for. She picked the paper up and opened it.



"_**I just did...**_

_**M.K"**_

The blonde was stunned at the reply. After a few seconds, the blonde folded the paper and placed it inside her pocket. She sat comfortably back at the wooden chair and took a good look at the view outside the window. The sunlight hit the blonde's face, illuminating the smile grazing along the corners of her lips and the sparkle of joy glittering in her eyes.

_'She just did...' _she said to herself, letting out an amused and pleased soft chuckle out of her mouth. She then stood up and walked over the librarian, still the brilliance of her smile and happiness in her eyes never faded on her face.

* * *

**AU: Thanks for reading! Reviews are widely appreciated**


	3. Chapter 3

**AU**

**R&R**

**Edited version.. I tried and found out that I wasn't good at it... **

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The aquamarine haired beauty entered the public library and hurriedly walks to the novel area. She had forgotten to greet the librarian which she had always been doing before finding a book to read. But today, she had forgotten in doing so. The librarian was shocked by the sudden change of behavior by the woman but soon shrugged it off and went back to stamping the books.

Michiru then reached the bookshelves and started looking for the red book. After finding what she was looking for, she then sat at the same seat she had been sitting for the past days. She turns the pages one by one, and smiled as soon as a white piece of paper caught her eyes. Opening the piece of paper, her smile just grew even wider.

"_**'I just did...' such a dramatic word I must say and apparently, I'm up for it... We should continue doing this and might find that this thing may not sound as crazy as it seems... but we may find something beneath all these... You. Me... Me and You... Revealing a side of ourselves that nobody knew. It won't be bad because we don't know each other...**_

_**H.T"**_

"_**ps: I'm getting poetic about this...**_

_**What does this wise replier of mine do for living?"**_

The woman can't help but to feel the growing warmth in her heart as she finishes reading the poignant letter. Her smile never faded on her face but it just grew wider and wider. She laughs as she felt that this wouldn't be as weird as she would have thought. It might sound strange that she was conversing with someone she doesn't even know, but the feeling of happiness mixed with curiosity pushed her in continuing onto this crazy world of exchanging letters through a book.

She then grabs the pen and wrote her reply. Doing the same thing as the other day, she inserted the letter inside the book and returned to where it was before. She then sat back on the chair and looked out the window as she waited for the sun to set down.

* * *

**-Next Day-**

**Haruka's POV**

I woke up as soon as the sun lit my room. I stood up and stretched both of my arms and headed straight to the bathroom.

I never felt happy and excited about waking up in the morning, I never did and I thought I never will but I was mistaken. Ever since I wrote a letter 4 days ago, I never felt the same thing ever again and I think it will never go back to that. This is the first time in my life that I have waited something so hard and wished for something so deep; being eager about things, moreover reading a reply from someone that I don't even know, wasn't me at all.

I walk out of the bathroom, and got some of my usual attire from my closet: a black dress shirt and a pair of white pants.

I went outside and walk in a fast pace, that I never did before. I guess I have done and felt things I thought I wouldn't do or feel. These past days have surely been different but all exciting. I reached the restaurant and saw a group of people waiting for me again. I smiled as I signed the posters they're holding. Then I bid them goodbye and entered the restaurant.



After eating my meal, I went out and walks straight to the library. I reached the library and saw the librarian smiling at me. I smiled back as I headed myself to the novel area. I scanned the shelves and found the same red book I always hoping to see and read. As always, I sat at the same spot as yesterday or any other day that I've been in this library and opened the book in my hands. I turned the pages and found the white piece of paper. I opened it and smiled as I started reading the letter.

"_**Do you know the difference between an optimist and a pessimist? **_

_**An optimist thinks this is possible and a pessimist fears that this is true... **_

_**I'm no pessimist though...**_

_**I work as a music teacher by day and a waitress by night.**_

_**And how about this oh-so lonesome woman?**_

_**M.K"**_

"_**ps: Being poetic isn't so bad.. Life needs art...**_

_**Take it as me looking at it in an artistic point of view.**_

_**Not bad isn't it?"**_

The same feeling I had every single time I read her replies flourishes within my heart. I felt my smile growing wider and wider. I try to minimize it, but only to fail miserably.

_'She really says the wisest things…' _I say to myself as I folded the paper and placed it inside my pocket. I looked at the librarian who in turn smiled at me and waved something in her hands. I tried to look closer and saw what she was holding

_'A piece of paper...' _I laugh inside as I wave my hands back and gave her a warm smile. She did notice my constant request for a paper to write on. I turned to look at the book again and grab a piece of paper in my other pocket. I brought my own paper to write on since I felt I was beginning to be a burden to the librarian. I looked at the librarian with the corner of my eyes and saw she was disappointed as soon as I put out the piece of paper I have in my pocket. I grabbed the pen and started writing something back. Finishing the last word, I folded the paper crosswise and inserted it inside the book. I returned the book back and with another smile I left the library.

* * *

After a couple of hours, a woman walks inside the library, and like the other day, went directly to the novel area not even bothering to greet the librarian back. She grabbed the red book and walked to her usual sitting place. She turns the pages of the book and found the piece of paper. She picked it up and opened it.

"_**Having conversation with you doesn't seem to lack any wisdom...**_

_**I should write a book compiling these things..**_

_**Music... **_

_**It is the movement of sound **_

_**to reach the soul for the education of its virtue...**_

__

_**A lady of honor and virtue... **_

_**A music teacher...**_

_**that explains the deepness of your replies...**_

_**I risk my life for a living...**_

_**H.T"**_

"_**ps: How did you know I was a woman?"**_

She smiled as she read the letter. The feeling in her heart started growing more and more that she was starting to like the person and definitely her personality. She can't help but to be honest with herself and the smile on her face sure proves that. She grabs the pen and again wrote something in reply. Michiru then folded the paper and inserted it back inside the book. She then waited for dusk before she return the book and leave the place.

* * *

**Haruka Parallel**

The blonde woman arrived at her workplace only to be welcomed by a disappointed manager on the door.

"Why are you always late for work?" questioned the woman with straight, long, and pink colored hair, her arms crossed over her chest

"I went to the library, Shimako" replied the blonde as she walk pass the woman and sat on the sofa.

"You read books?"

"No, I dance inside a public library." a trail of sarcasm was all over the blonde's reply, yet her smile as before in the library still plastered all over her face.

"Funny." She commented taking a sit beside the blonde. She turns to her side facing the blonde, and gasps as soon as she saw the radiant smile on her face.

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" raising her left eyebrow. "Don't tell me you found someone in the library?!" she accused, fully disappointed by what Haruka might have possibly done.

_'I found someone worth of my time...' _"I didn't." she replied indifferently.

"Your smile tells me different!" Shouted the other woman, in her tone unveils her disbelief at Haruka's reply.

"I am not entitled to have someone, and now I'm not allowed to smile?" the blonde said in exasperation as she stood up from the sofa and walks to the corner of the room, her body facing the window.

"We've talked about this, Haruka." as the pink haired woman turned around and looked over the sofa, she continued "Whatever is going on, you should put an end to it. You're not only going to hurt yourself but also the other person as well..."

"I just want something to happen with my life..."

"And something did..."

"No… Not that. Something that is worth remembering..." whispering the last words, she then turned to face the woman and gave her a weak smile. Shimako's face softens and Haruka continued reassuring her. "I know. Don't worry..."

Both continued to what they should be doing until the sun started to set down and left the building together.

* * *

**-Next Day-**

The librarian watched the clock's hands moved every now and then. With a deep sigh, she counted mentally _'5-4-3-2-1'_ and turned to look at the door where a blonde woman had entered. She stood up and greeted the blonde with a huge smile on her face. The blonde in turn smiled back and walked over to the novel area. The librarian sat down, her body was trembling due to the overwhelming pleasure she felt after receiving a smile from the blonde.

Haruka sat at her usual spot and placed the book on the table. She opens the book and turns the pages looking for a piece of paper. She stops and smiled as she found what she was looking for. She then opened it and read what's written on it.

"_**A man's handwriting tells many kind of things, **_

_**and expresses a lot of emotions **_

_**that even a single word coming out of a mouth**_

_**could not describe...**_

_**Yours just did...**_

_**You're a cop? A woman cop?**_

_**No?**_

_**Maybe a killer then?**_

_**M.K"**_

The blonde laugh inwardly at the woman's reply. It's been nothing out of the ordinary that the blonde had been laughing due to the letter. It has been a common thing for her to do after reading the replies from this mysterious 'M.K' and a rampant reaction for her to write back. She places the paper in her pocket and then let out another paper for her to write. After writing, she placed the letter inside the book. She stood up and returned the book and left the library.

* * *

**Michiru Parallel**

-Michiru's POV-

I finished my day job and walked directly to the library. As I was walking, I felt something vibrate inside my purse. I checked my purse and saw my phone ringing. I grabbed my phone and answered it

"_Hello?"_

"_Michi?"_

"_Hai?"_

"_It's me Mako."_

"_Mako-chan!"_

"_The plan this evening will still push through right?"_

"_Hai. I ask permission to my boss if I could skip today's work"_

"_That's great! I can't wait to see you. It's been years since we last saw each other!"_

"_I can't wait to see you too!"_

"_Bye!"_ she hanged up before I could even bid her my goodbye. I started walking again heading straight to the library. I walked inside and went directly to where the red book was. Like always, I grabbed the book, and sat to where I always sit. I turned the pages of the book until I saw a piece of paper. I picked it up and opened it.

"_**No. And definitely not... **_

_**Trying to be funny, explains your second job then...**_

_**Your creative mind ruined your humor.**_

_**Stick to being wise, it fits you better... **_

_**H.T"**_

I laugh as I read her reply. I noticed that I have been laughing everyday ever since I got a letter from this mysterious 'H.T' I never felt anything like this before. The feeling of waiting never cross me, or the feeling of exuberance from a person I barely even know... cut the barely part and change it to a person I don't even know... I stared out the window and smiled.

_'How something this absurd can feel so tremendously wonderful...' _I thought to myself.

I turned to look at the note again as I grab a pen from the table. Writing the last word from my reply, I folded it and inserted it back inside the book. I stood up and returned the book to the shelves and walked out of the library directly heading home.

* * *

**Haruka Parallel**

-Haruka's POV-

As I was sitting on the couch, I looked over to Shimako-san and saw that she was talking to someone on the phone. She was in a happy mood that I can't help myself to smile at here ridiculous antics when she's happy. She then turned to look at me, annoyed features on her face, as soon as she hang the phone up.

"What are you smiling about?!" displeased in her tone

"You."

"Well, it's not good to laugh at people, so you know."

"Hai. Hai." I answered her back trying to suppress the laughter that dared to escape my mouth. Then I saw her grabbing her purse and walking over to the door, "Where are you going?" I asked curiously

"Out."

"But Oono-san, needs you in his office right now. He was talking about this huge plan thing going on for us…" but I was soon cut off by no other than her herself

"Shit! I totally forgot!!" she said in panic

"What's wrong?"

"I'm going to meet my friend today to watch a concert with her at the Tokyo Grand Theater. But I totally forgot about Oono-san!!" still she was walking back and forth "What to do? What to do?" she said frantically

"I'll accompany you friend then." I blurted out without even thinking

"You would?" she said as she draws her face closer to mine, her eyes were sparkling with joy.

"Yeah... It won't be bad. Besides, it's good to experience things before it's too late in doing so."

"Haruka!" now her smile was replaced by a frown

"I know… Sorry" I apologized and gave her a smile. She smiled and hugged me in return. She then released me and started walking over the phone.

"I'll call her and inform her about this." She said as she dialed the number. I, in turn, only gave her a nod

_'New things...surely the reason why I can't stop writing to her…' _I thought to myself. With another deep sigh, I sat straight on the sofa and waited for Shimako to finish with her call.

* * *

**AU: thanks for reading!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AU**

**R&R**

**Edited version... I tried and found out I wasn't good at it...**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Michiru's POV**

I'm standing outside the library waiting for someone I don't even know. It seems that I've been waiting for a stranger these past days: a stranger from the letter and now a stranger to accompany me at the concert.

**--00000--**

_-flashback- _

"_Michi-chan?"_

"_Mako-chan, I'll be there soon."_

"_About today..."_

"_Hai?"_

"_I can't come… I have this important meeting with my boss and I can't skip-"_

"_I understand. I'll go alone then. Let's set another day for us to meet."_

"_No!"_

"_So you don't want to meet up?"_

"_No. not that. Sure let's set another day for us to meet. But you won't go alone."_

"_Huh?"_

"_I asked a friend of mine to accompany you."_

"_It wasn't really-"_

"_She obliged. She'll pick you up at the public library by 7:30pm."_

"_I can really go alo-"_

"_She'll meet you there! Bye!"_

_-end of flashback-_

**--00000--**

And before I could even refuse, she already hangs up on me, twice in just a day! Now I'm outside the public library, standing and waiting.

_'It sure gets cold during December...' _I said to myself as I rub my hands together. I stop as soon as I heard footsteps getting louder and louder by the second.

"Kaioh-san?" I turned around and saw a figure with short blonde hair wearing a black tux under a black trench coat, and a dark and light green striped scarf around her neck.

"Tenoh-san?" I inquired as I saw her face

"Gomene for being late."

"Iie. It's okay." I smiled at her as I saw the worried look on her face. She then smiles back at me and started rubbing her nape.

"We should take a cab... to compensate for being late." she said as she gave me a grin

"That would be fine." I replied back. She then raises her hand to the passing vehicles. After a few seconds, a cab stops in front of us. She opens the back door and lends her left hand out to me.

"My lady"

"Charming, aren't you?"

"Just being a gentlewoman." I accepted the offer and entered the cab. She then entered the cab after I did.

"Tokyo Grand Theater, please." the cab driver nodded in return. He steps on the gas pedal, and made our way to the streets of Tokyo.

A cab stopped in front of a grand theater. A blonde woman first steps out of the cab and held her hands to a woman inside it. The woman accepted and with the blonde's help, she got out of the car properly. Both walked inside and handed out their tickets to the attendant. The attendant then guided the two women to their seats.

"Wow." Haruka gasps "Incredible place." the blonde continued to muse, stunned by the architectural design of the theater

"You should sit down right now. The show will soon start." The smaller woman said tugging the blonde's coat.

"Gomen. It's my first time being inside a theatre." She explains as she took her sit beside the aquamarine haired beauty.

After a couple of minutes, the curtain of the stage started to move sideways, revealing a group of people each having instruments.

"Orchestra?" the blonde said cocking her left eye brow as she looks at the woman beside her.

"Hai. And you, Tenoh-san, should just sit back and enjoy the music." She replied as she pushes Haruka's left shoulder, making her sit straight back from her chair. Haruka lets out a deep sigh and focuses on the stage in front of her.

The conductor walks out waving his hands to the crowd. He stops in the middle and turns to look at the orchestra. And with a simple flick of his wrists, the orchestra started playing as the crowd grew silent.

* * *

**Haruka's POV**

An hour had pass and the concert still wasn't finish. I never did like things like this. Ironic since I used to play the piano and I loved playing it. I covered my mouth as I let out another yawn. I turned to look at the person beside me, and saw how she was deeply listening to the music the orchestra's creating.

Her eyes were close and both of her hands were clenched together and are on top of her chest.

_'Her heart must be on it..' _I say to myself as I continued observing her.

Then I saw her lips curving up. She was smiling; smiling to the music that I don't even understand or relate to. I felt my lips starting to curve up as I watch her listening to the music intently

_'She looks so peaceful...'_

The image in front of me was beginning to be addicting that I stared at her than listened to the music playing. The tranquility on her face only warmed 

my heart. I wonder to myself how her simple gestures assured me that everything will be okay, easing every bit of agony in my heart. I smiled again still never leaving the sight in front of me.

Then I heard the sound of people applauding, and saw her eyes opening. I turn away before she could even see me looking at her. I stood up hurriedly and joined the applauding crowd. I saw her with corner of my eyes standing up and applauding the performance.

"Isn't the performance fantastic!" she said, a huge smile plastered on her face. I smiled back as I stared at her.

_'Yeah.. you look fantastic..' _I thought then shook my head "It really was." she then gave me a confuse look but soon shrugged it off and gave me a smile. We then walked of the theater and went out to the streets.

* * *

Both women walks outside and into the streets of Tokyo. The blonde woman stops from walking and turns to her side and looks at the smaller woman

"Do you mind if we walk home?" Haruka asks.

"I don't." Michiru smiles.

The blonde then started walking again and the smaller woman walks beside her. They passed every building in the city with car lights passing them by. They continued walking until they reached an area where dozens of cherry blossom trees are all over the place surrounded by different colors and kinds of flowers. The tall lamp posts shone the beauty the place has to offer. The blonde went inside, the smaller woman on the other hand stops and questions the blonde's sudden change of direction.

"Tenoh-san, what are we-" she asks curiously but was cut off by the blonde

"Follow me" she grabs the woman's left hand with her right and started to drag her inside. Michiru was startled by the sudden hand touch Haruka made. She tried to protest but found herself being drawn to the warmth of the blonde's hand.

They stop at a bridge in the middle of the park and Haruka removes her hold from Michiru's hand. Michiru felt a little bit disappointed when she no longer felt Haruka's warm hands against hers.

"Teno-" Michiru tried to speak yet again.

"Sshhh..." Haruka hushed as she places her finger over the smaller woman's lips. She then continued whispering "I'll let you see something wonderful..."

Haruka then jumps off the bridge and walks over to the bed of flowers. She bends down and picked a white colored flower. She then walks back to Michiru, now holding a flower in her hand.

"Do you know why this flower is called light of hope?" Haruka asks. Michiru shook her head and looks at what the blonde was holding. She saw a firefly on the blonde's right point finger and a white bell shape flower on her other hand

"A wise man once said: 'when it's dark enough, you could see the stars...'" As she said these words, the blonde places the firefly inside the flowers opening. The flower in turn started to glow radiantly. The smaller woman looked in awe as she saw the image in front of her

"Beautiful..." was the only word that the smaller woman could utter.

The blonde smiles at the reaction of the woman in front of her.

"be not afraid, nor be discourage… The stars will always be there to guide you… Just look up and you'll see the light. It'll always shine upon you…" She walks closer to the smaller woman and gave the flower to her. The smaller woman subconsciously grabs the flower and gave the blonde a smile.

After a few seconds, the smaller woman woke from her daze and walks over to the empty bench under a cherry blossom tree. The blonde followed and then sat beside her. Haruka then looks up at the bright shining stars, while Michiru was still looking at the flower she was holding.

"This place calms my heart..." said Haruka "The whispers of the wind and the sound of flowing water soothes all my anxieties away... and I can't help but to feel happy... Don't you think it's weird… to feel this way?"

"Weirdness has its forms… Something may look bizarre or strange to one person yet the other may see it as something normal and may even admire him or her for that. Everything is just dependent on how people look at it… how openly they see things. You're just awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever more wonders... It is not weird… I think it's opposite of that. " the blonde curiously looked at her. She continued as she saw the blonde's quizzical look

"...A wise man had once said... and I feel the same.." smiled the smaller woman now looking at the flower she was holding.

The blonde woman smiles as she heard the smaller woman's reply and stared back at the sky above them.

Then there was a moment of silence encompasses the two as both of them just stared at the sky and stopped from talking. Neither of the two minds the silent atmosphere around them. The feeling of solace unraveled as they sat together quietly, both enjoying the company of each other. It made them feel content in that single moment of silence. A couple of minutes had passed, the smaller woman then looks at the blonde

"Would mind if I ask you something?" said the smaller woman, breaking the silence encircling the both of them

"I wouldn't, Kaioh-san."

"Why such a famous person like you walks instead of riding her car?"

The blonde then looked at the smaller woman and smiled

"I'm savoring the beauty and goodness that the world has got to offer..." she then turned to look at the stars again and continued talking "Like the hummingbird sipping nectar from every flower, I fly joyfully through my days, seeing beauty in everything..."

"You sound as if this will be your last." Michiru commented, as she felt her heart ache from the Haruka's obscure response.

The blonde in turn, looks at Michiru again and gave the smaller woman a gentle smile. Michiru saw something in the blonde's eyes, something she couldn't decipher. Both stared at each other for a couple of minutes, until a drop of snow landed on the blonde's hands. Both women looked up and notice that it was snowing.

"White Christmas." uttered Haruka. She looks at Michiru and saw her slightly shivering from the coldness. The blonde reaches for her scarf and started to remove it. She then wraps it around the woman's neck "This will help you warm up." Haruka said softly.

"Arigato." Michiru smiles appreciatively and warmly. Again they look at the sky above them and then to their surroundings.

"I should take you home right now before the snow covers us here." joked the blonde in which Michiru released soft sound of laughter.

Haruka stood up and as gentlewoman as she is, she held her hands out to Michiru who gladly took the offer. Both women left the park walking side by side... Michiru still holding the white bell shape flower in her hand...

* * *

**AU: Thanks for reading! Reviews are widely appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AU**

**R&R**

**Edited Version… I tried and found out I wasn't good at it… (Michiru's reply change and some in Haruka's reply.)**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**December 22**

A week has passed since the day of the concert and a week of both women never missing a day replying to each other. Both have been very close to each other every passing day. They know more about each other than anybody close to them even knew. Even though this thing was clearly impossible, it felt amazingly great for the both of them.

The aquamarine haired woman entered the library and brushes off the snow on her shoulder. She walked inside and greeted the librarian. She then walks over the novel area and grabs the red book. She sat at her usual spot, the same spot she sat on the past weeks. She removes her white snow gloves and opens the book. She smiles to herself as she thought how this ordinary book could transport her to a world where she felt safe, needed and loved. Picking the note up, she opened it and only smiled even wider

"_**I always thought of Christmas as another extension of my birthday... **_

_**I always pick ridiculous toys when I was a kid. **_

_**My parents just let me do what I want, though. **_

_**I remember the time when they refuse to buy me something I want for the first time. **_

_**I wanted to buy a pellet gun. **_

_**They refused and told me it was a dangerous toy for a kid to play. **_

_**I got really mad and I locked myself up in my room for a week…**_

_**Well I do get down my room when in I get hungry but I make sure they're not around. **_

__

_**It's really funny when I think about it.**_

_**How about you?**_

_**H.T"**_

She smiles ever so brightly as she felt her heart warming up all over again. She grabs a pen and wrote down her reply. Writing the last lines, she folded the paper and placed it inside, and returned the book back to the shelves.

_'Tomorrow…'_ as she gave out another sigh and left the library.

* * *

**Next Day**

**December 23**

-Haruka's POV-

I have been a regular to the library that I even think the librarian had notices it already. I can't blame her, because I really have been coming to the library heading straight for the novel area each and every passing days of my life.

I remember the time when she asked me if I love novels. I told her I do, since it's a result of my actions these past weeks. She was really happy and gave me the book she was holding. I smiled yet the look on my face questioned her action. I heard her say that it was a really good novel. Then I realized she was recommending me to read the novel she was holding. I gave her a smile again and like always walk over to where my favorite red book was.

I grabbed the book and sat on my favorite spot. It's funny as how everything in this place became one of my favorites ever since this had started. I turned the pages and saw the piece of paper I have been waiting for all day to read. I opened it and smiled as I read the letter.

"_**I really wanted to buy a snow globe when I was a kid. **_

_**So I told my father and the next morning I saw him holding a box and handed it over to me. **_

__

_**I peeled the gift wrapper hurriedly and opened the top and I was shocked to see what's inside. **_

_**I put it out and asked my father 'Snow gloves?' **_

_**He smiled at me and said it's what I wanted. **_

_**I got really mad and like you I locked myself up in my room. **_

_**I realized that my father misunderstood what I've said. **_

_**It was really a childish act but funny when you think about it. **_

_**It's funny right? **_

_**This simple memories… bitter or happy when we were at that age can turn into something we can look back to and see something incredible in that simple fragment of our memory… **_

_**Makes you realize that perhaps life may be as simple as the word itself just by looking back at it… **_

_**And maybe just maybe… Our life right now is the same… **_

_**it may look hard, but if we look at it in a few distant age, **_

_**then perhaps we may realize that life isn't so bad after all… **_

_**that life is as simple as our childhood days…**_

_**M.K." **_

I gave out a gentle smile as I folded the paper. I stood up and without any second thoughts I left the library as fast as I could.

'_Memory…' _I chuckled softly under my breath… _'Hope you could look back at this piece of memory I shared with you…'_

* * *

**Michiru Parallel**

**December 23**

The aquamarine haired woman left the school earlier than usual. She walks the streets of Tokyo and went directly to the library. As she was walking, she saw a familiar blonde woman entering a gift shop

_'Tenoh-san?' _she thought and tried to get closer to the blonde but only to be stop by a hand grabbing her arm.

"Michi!" Michiru spun around and saw a familiar face smiling at her.

"Yuriko? What are you doing here?"

"I'm on vacation. It's good that I saw you here. Why don't we hang out?" the aquamarine haired woman was about turn the offer down but when she saw the blonde had already left the gift shop, she sighs and gave her cousin a nod. They then went to a coffee shop where they had their shared a cup of coffees and small chat.

* * *

After a few minutes, the blonde walks in the library again. She was breathing heavily as if she had been running back and forth. The librarian stood up as she gave the blonde a wide smile. She notices that the blonde was holding a box in her hand. The blonde smiles back and walks back to where she had left. She put out two papers in her pocket and wrote something down. She smiles as she finishes writing her note down. She folded the first paper and inserted it inside the book and placed the other paper inside the box.

She stood up and placed the book back to the shelves. She then walks over to the librarian still holding the box on her hand. The librarian notices the blonde walking closer and closer to her that she stood up from her chair and smiled

"Konnichiwa Miss Ayano!"

"Ko...konni..konnichi.." the brunette librarian was stuttering as she blushes heavily due to the charming smile the blonde was flashing

"Would you mind if you could hand this to a friend of mine?" Haruka asks, as she gives the box to the librarian while keeping her charming smile up.

"Ha..Hai!" receiving the box and placing it down on her table

"Arigato!" as the blonde walks outside waving her hands to the librarian

* * *

**Michiru Parallel**

**December 23**

-Michiru's POV-

We have been in the coffee shop for some time now and I have been really impatient. I really wanted to go the library and read her reply but my cousin wouldn't let me do so. I'm happy that I saw my cousin. Really I am, but it was a different kind of happiness when I'm reading her letter; far more different, I don't think it could even stand a chance when compared. I sigh again and heard her saying another word

"Are you in love?" she asks me. I was caught off guard by her question that I just stared at her and didn't even gave a word back "Because you've been sighing a lot lately. And it seems your mind is off to somewhere."

"No." I shook my head and smiled _'I don't know...'_

"So who's the lucky person?" she asks as she moves her face closer and closer to me. I saw the anxiousness in her eyes like a kid waiting to unfold a dirty little secret.

"I just said there wasn't." I was slightly annoyed by her persistence

"Your pretty face betrays you, my cousin…" cocking her left eye brow

"I... I don't know... It's really strange..." I paused and looked at her seriously "Before you drag me here, I was on my way to the library. You know why?" she looks at me questioningly as I paused from my speech. I continued "Someone's waiting for me there. Someone, I'm also waiting for... Though this might sound strange but I haven't even seen her.. but her... she.. felt like.. I... I don't know..."

"Sometimes the heart sees what's invisible to the eye.. and yours is telling you right now what that is." her word pierced through my heart that it left me stunned and unable to answer. I heard her speak again "So, how did the two of-" before she could even finish, I stood up and gave her a bow

"I...I have to go." I said before the conversation gets any longer. I grabbed my purse and went out the coffee shop. I walked to the place where I should be spending my free time at, the library.

Reaching the place, I walked inside and greeted the librarian. I walked to the novel area and grabbed the red book. I sat on the same spot, and opened the book. I picked the paper up and read the note inside

"_**Walk over to the librarian and tell her that a friend of yours left something for you.**_

_**H.T"**_

I cock my left eyebrow after reading the strange note she had written for me. At first I was hesitant so I sat on the chair until my body moves on its own. The next thing I knew I was already walking over to the librarian. As I reach the counter table. I lean over and said what the note had ordered me to say.

"Excuse me Ayano-san, A friend of mine told me that she left something for you to be given to me?" I asked her nicely

"Hai." She answered, not really happy about the situation "Here it is." as she handed me a medium size box. I picked it up and thank her.

I walked back to my chair and sat back and opened the box. I was shocked when I saw the figure inside the box, a round glass object. I smiled as I remove the thing out of the box

'_Snow globe...'_ I said to myself as I fully removed the figure out of its box. I felt my heart beating incredibly fast that I tried to stop it but I can't seem to do so. There's something different from the way I'm feeling. Something I had never felt before. It felt unbelievable but at the same time painful. I looked at the box and saw a letter inside. I opened it and saw her handwriting.

"_**Do you like it? **_

_**Since you wrote it, **_

_**There wouldn't be any misunderstandings now..**_

_**A simple thank you would be enough...**_

__

_**H.T"**_

"_**By the way… a strand of memory you could back to… I hope it makes you smile..."**_

And there it was again, my heart beating faster and faster that it seems I have in no control over it. Sometimes I wonder if this woman even know how well she can control my heart and my emotions; that her simple words could dictate the beating of my heart. When I think about the situation, I realize it's impossible for this to happen no matter how hard you try thinking about it. Then again, love puts logic into sleep otherwise we wouldn't dare risk it.

Yuriko's words keep playing over and over in my mind. I did not realize what I was feeling until someone was able to tell me what I was feeling when I didn't even know myself. This is my chance. Chance happens to all, but to turn this chance to account is the gift of few. And this is my gift.

I grabbed the pen and wrote my reply. I folded the paper and placed it back inside book and returned it to the shelves. I left the library and went to my next job.

* * *

**Next Day**

**December 24 **

-Haruka's POV-

I walked inside the library anticipating for her reply. I'm really hoping she liked my little gift to her since it's really the only thing I can do for her or I can ever give to her. I looked at the librarian and smiled at her. She smiled back and gave me thumbs up. I whispered thank you to her and walked to the novel area. I grabbed the red book and sat on my usual spot. I opened the book and found the same the piece of paper; the paper that I have been looking forward to every passing days of my life. I opened it and smiled as I read her letter

"_**Thank you... Really.. Thank you.**_

_**Someone had once said that **_

_**We are never the same with others as when we are alone. **_

__

_**We are different, even when we are in the dark with them... **_

_**But with you... it's different.. **_

_**I haven't been real to anyone as I am with you**_

_**and I haven't even met you **_

_**But all I wanted to do was to know more about you **_

_**and open up about me...**_

_**I wait all day just hoping to read another letter from you**_

_**and I don't even know you… **_

_**It's weird.. **_

_**But,**_

_**I write this with conviction in my heart **_

_**that my life will never be the same as before **_

_**when I'm talking with you...**_

_**I want to see you. Let me see you...**_

_**M.K"**_

I felt my heart ache as I finished reading her letter. The feeling of longing for someone you haven't even seen is clearly ridiculous but this feeling inside of me keeps overpowering what my mind keep telling me not to do. This is wrong but my heart keeps telling me otherwise. 'Don't get involve' Shimako said and I promised. But with her, everything seems to all fade away; my promise, my worries, anxieties, loneliness, doubts, weariness, pain, everything. Her, me, are the only ones staying. To the world she might be one person, but to me she is the world, my world. It's strange if you think about feeling this way for someone you haven't met but life is simple. Thinking is what makes it complicated. And loving her is simple. It's the reason why I keep waking up in the morning... It's what keeps me breathing... She's my life... The living soul within me...

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! Reviews are widely appreciated!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AU**

**R&R**

**Edited version... I tried and found out that I wasn't good at it at all... **

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**December 24**

The aquamarine haired woman entered the library clutching her hand over her chest, nervous as to what the person would reply or moreover if the person would even reply back to her. With another deep sigh, she walks over to the novel area and grabs the red book. Like every day, she sat on her usual spot and opened the book. Her heart started beating faster and faster with every page turned. She stops as she found the white piece of paper she has been longing for ever since this day started. She opens it and saw a different letter as to yesterday's. She smiled as she started reading it...

"_**I'm a pessimist though...**_

_**About this... **_

_**Everything right now...**_

_**What I'm feeling...**_

_**What I have become...**_

_**What you have become to me...**_

_**Fearing everything... **_

_**Fearing the possibility that this is true..**_

_**Still,**_

_**I want to see you...**_

_**I'll wait for you at the park... **_

_**the bench near the bridge**_

_**I'll wait...**_

_**I'll be there...**_

_**H.T"**_



(a/n: refer to chap 3 about the pessimist thing)

Her smile just grew wider as her heart started beating faster. She folded the paper and unlike what she had been doing before, she didn't place the letter inside the book but placed it inside her pocket. She smiles again, wider than before.

The feeling within her is something she can't stop, something she doesn't have in control with. And being not in control is something she hates yet somehow, what she's feeling is something she definitely likes to have. She stood up from her chair and returned the book. She then left the library, but the radiance of her smile never faded from her face.

* * *

**Haruka Parallel**

**December 24**

-Haruka's POV-

Like everyday, I walked back to my workplace after going the library. Arriving, I entered the room and saw Shimako on the phone. I walk pass her and sat on the sofa. After a couple of seconds, she hangs the phone up and walks over to me. She then took a sit beside me, and honestly, I felt my heart beating faster and faster after seeing the look on her face as if she had found something.

"You're really late today. What are you doing in the library anyway?" She asks. There was something beneath those words of her that my heart skip a beat.

"I just finished reading the book I've been reading before in the library." I replied hiding my nervousness. It's true I've finished reading something though it's not really the book still it's inside the book.

I looked at her and saw the disbelief masked all over her face. I turn away and stare at the plastic flower pot on top of the table instead. There was a moment of silence between us, so silent that I could actually hear the fast beating of my heart very clearly. Her loud and agonizingly long sigh then took my attention.

"There will be a party held by the company tonight. Your presence is needed there." she said as she stood up from the sofa and walks over to the bookshelf.

"I can't come." I said plainly

"Why is that?" she questioned, still looking at the books in the shelf

"I have plans."

"Plans? I'm the one making your plans."

"I have to.. meet someone tonight at the park.."

"Someone?" I see her cocking her left eyebrow from the side, she continued "The one you've been exchanging letters with." her reply caught me off guard which made my heart only to beat faster than before.

"Ha..How?" I uttered the only word that had crossed me. The expression on my face clearly giving her an answer that she was right about what she said.

"You've drop this." Shimako answers, waving a piece of paper in her hand. I narrowed my look and saw the letter that we have been exchanging in her hands.

"Is this what you've been doing in the library?!" she turned to face me, displeased all over her voice. I look away from her ire glare and kept my mouth close.

"For God's sake Haruka! I told you to stop, didn't I! What were you even thinking?! Were you even thinking?!" She scolded as she walks closer and stands just right in front of me. I stood up, still refusing to look at her, and walked myself over to the door.

"I have to go."

"Don't you walk away from me, Tenoh!" she grabs my arm fiercely making me turn and face her.

"Why didn't you follow what I told you?" she said.

_How could I possibly follow Shimako, when everytime I read her replies, it only made me unaware of everything. _

"I can't." I muttered softly

"I can't?" she laughs bitterly. "What kind of answer is that?!" she shouted, clearly disappointed and angry at me. "You don't even know her name?!" It's true that I don't have a clue what her name is. But what does it have to do with it?!

"I know more than that."

"Like what? Tell me."

"That I'm in love with her."

"In love?" she scoffs. "You speak so highly of such words when you don't even know this person."

"I know her more than I know you..." I replied as I looked directly into her eyes. "I'm in love and it's wonderful.. This is wonderful.." I said plainly with a gentle smile on my face "I rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than living without it. Just one, Shimako. Just one."

"It's wrong to get involved in your condition!"

"I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than be alone for the right..." I said with no doubt in my voice as I gave her a gentle smile again. I grabbed my jacket and walked over the door. Then I hear her shout something from behind

"Have you even thought about her? Does she even know you're sick?" I stopped and stood there stunned by what Shimako had just said. Her words kept playing over and over in my mind. Then I felt her standing beside me, looking directly at my face.

"You haven't. What will happen to her if something suddenly happens to you? Tell me, are you not being selfish to her?" her words pierced right through me. I am being selfish. I never thought of those things and it never did cross my mind. _But is to love someone even in this condition so wrong?_

Then, I felt my heart hurting, like a hand squeezing it so hard. I suddenly lost my balance, my side hitting the wall. I grab a hold on the door knob to keep me from falling.

"Haruka, what's wrong?" Shimako shouted in panic as she places her hand on my back.

"I'm okay..." I tried to tell her, but my condition seemed to only get worse. I breathe harder and harder. I look up at her and saw everything around me whirling. I felt my body getting weaker and weaker. Then suddenly everything around me turned black and I felt my body falling onto the ground.

* * *

**Michiru Parallel**

**December 24**

-Coffee Shop-

The aquamarine haired woman looked impatiently at the clock waiting for her shift to get over.

_'Soon... just wait...' _she kept thinking over and over that she didn't even heard her co-waitress calling her again and again.

"Michiru!" shouted the other waitress bringing the aquamarine haired beauty back to reality "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Remi-san" she said a little embarrassed. The other waitress just looked at her, cocking her left eyebrow. Remi then shrugged it off and continued with her speech.

"Anyway, the girls and I are having a Christmas Eve party. You should come."

"I can't. Thanks anyway." smiled the aquamarine beauty as she shook her head to her co-waitress

"Do you have plans?"

"Hai. I'm meeting someone today." her smile grew wider as she realizes how soon meeting this person will be.

"Finally!" said her co-waitress in relief.

Michiru just stares at her questioningly, not really getting her co-worker's weird reaction.

"We've been wondering about your smiling face lately. You always seemed so happy this past week. So the girls and I were thinking about the reasons behind it. I guess Yumi won. You are in love."

"Won? You wager on my feelings?"

"We did. Gomen!" Remi bowed her head as she apologizes to the woman in front of her. "So who's this person that stole your heart?"

"I haven't met her" she said straight forwardly as she looked at her co-waitress confused face "We've been exchanging letters."

"Oh, I see. She must write one hell of a letter to make you feel that way."

"She does." as her smile only grew wider and wider._ 'She really does..'_

"Good luck then!" as Remi walked over the counter. Michiru only smiled in return and looks over the wall clock

_'1 hour to go...' _she thought and with another deep sigh, she walks over to the ordering customers.

* * *

**Haruka Parallel**

**December 24**

**9:30 PM**

-Hospital-

Haruka woke up from her sleep and saw a woman sleeping on the chair beside her. She looks around, indulging every part of the room and realizes where she was. She looks over the clock in front of her

_'9:30' _she thought to herself. Realizing how late it already was, the blonde then sat straight on the bed which woke the sleeping woman up. She stood up and walks over to the other chair to get the bathrobe laying on top of it but a hand pulled her shirt.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see her." the blonde looks at her straight in the eyes and smiles

"Your body is weak. You need to rest."

"I don't have time to rest."

"You're sick, Haruka! Can't you understand that?!"

"I do. Clearly enough to know that it's not a reason to shut your chance in love." the blonde paused and looked briefly out the window beside her "Your friend once told me something about the essentials in life's happiness: Something to do... Something to love... Something to hope for... "

_-flashback-_

_(Haruka and Michiru walking home after the stop at the park)_

_"Hope... such a profound word isn't it?" Haruka mutters out of the blue_

_"Yes and yet it is all we have in the end..."_

_"And what if hoping won't do any good? Won't it just give you a lot more pain, to hope that is?"_

_"It's a lot better to hope than not to.. It's an essential to happiness in life. Something to do, something to love and something to hope for."_

_"Something to do...Something to love... Something to hope for... It sounds like I'm not living a happy life..."_

_"Start looking for it then."_

_"Why? Life will sooner or later end. It's an inevitable truth."_

_"True. But it is better to have something to remember than nothing at all..."_

_-end of flashback-_

"And I have found it..."

"Are you even sure about this?!"

"I have never been sure in my entire life about anything but this... And this is something my heart decided upon itself.. It can't be stopped or controlled... and when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible... I want to see her, Shimako."

"Rest of your life?! You don't have that much time."

"That's why I'm making it worthwhile... worth living..."

"How about her?! You're being selfish!"

"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty... at least let me have this piece of memory to take with me..."

"You'll regret doing this..."

"I'll regret not being able to see her."

"It will soon end!"

"I know...but it's worth reaching for." placing her hand on the hand grabbing her shirt

"Please, let go Shimako." She smiled warmly to her manager.

The pink haired woman looked away, and slowly released her hand from the blonde's shirt.

"Thanks for taking care of me." Haruka said sincerely as she kisses Shimako on the forehead. Haruka grabs the bathrobe and wraps it around her body. With one last look at her sobbing manager, she opens the door and finally left the hospital.

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**Park**

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**Michiru parallel**

**9:30 PM**

-Michiru's POV-

I walked inside the park and sat beneath a cherry blossom tree. As I took a sit, I looked around and saw quite a few people, mostly couples inside the park. I sat on the bench alone and after quite some time, people started to leave. I suddenly felt the cold; the cold feeling of being alone or the cold 

feeling of the snow pouring down at me? I looked at a watch and saw that I have been waiting for an hour already.

Some prank she had done to me. If not, some prank this twisted fate did to me. I felt my heart slowly breaking apart as I started losing hope that she'll ever show up. It's painful. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I clenched my hands over my chest to stop it from beating so hard but only to breakdown in end. My tears started to flow on its own. I can't stop it like the way I can't stop what I'm feeling.

_Love takes hostages. It gets inside of you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness._

I cried and cried hard, reaching for something that had been long gone inside of me. Now, I wonder how long she had stolen my heart...

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**Haruka Parallel**

**11:00 PM**

Haruka's POV

I took a cab as soon as I left the hospital and now I'm stuck in traffic.

_'How I hate Christmas Eve!!'_ I've been in here for an hour and it's really getting on my nerves!

_'Please be there! Please wait.. Please..'_ I desperately prayed hard as I clenched my fist.

I never believed in God. But how funny it is when you want or need something so bad we go and turn to him. I want her. I need her. She's all I want. She's all I need. She's everything I have ever wanted. Everything I ever needed. Everything, that simple but that real. And because of that I turn down my beliefs and prayed to Him.

Finally we reached the park, I immediately left the cab and run inside.

'_Please wait..' _I keep praying as I run and run faster.

I stopped as soon as I reached the bridge and walked towards the bench.

_No one.. nobody.. She didn't wait for me.._ I stood there dumbfounded as to how the thread of fate had played me. Maybe this is what really is supposed to happen. We really aren't meant to see each other.

Then it hit me. Something inside of me breaking and it's painful. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes it intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come - not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. If there is mild relief, I know that it is only temporary; more pain will follow. I felt something warm slowly pouring down my cheek... I reached for my eyes

_'Tears?' _I tried to suppress it but it only keeps flowing... I stood there crying, my hands covering my face. Although the skies were full of stars, my heart feels empty... Now I wonder how long she had taken my heart away from me...

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**AN: Thanks for reading! Edited version and yes, I suck at it.**

**Reviews are always widely appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AU**

**R&R**

**Edited version... I tried and found out I wasn't good at it at all...**

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**Chapter 7**

**Haruka's POV**

**December 24**

**11:30 PM**

I sat on the bench still a fragment of hope is inside of me. I'm waiting; waiting for something that may never come. Still, I sit here hoping. Hoping for her to walk and sit beside me; brush off the tears coming out of my eyes and comfort this never ending pain in my heart. _Tears._ I never cried when my parents died and never did a single drop escaped when I found out I was sick. Yet I'm crying for her.; her, the one I haven't even met; her, the one who stole my heart. I wonder to myself why I have even loved her, if losing her would only be this painful. Far more painful than what my condition is. I cried, fear encircled my broken heart; not from dying, but the reality that I just lost her. _Lost._ I laugh inwardly at how satirical the word sounds to me _'losing someone you never had to begin with...'_ I looked up the sky above me as the snowdrops mixed the tears I cry.

After a couple of minutes, a sound of falling can broke me from my reverie. I turned to look at my side and saw a familiar person standing, shock all over her face. I stood up and turn my body to face her, same features on my face as I found myself unable to say a word. I stared at her and she stared right back at me. _Speechless._ That's what we both seems to be when we're looking at each other. I saw her holding a piece of paper in her hand. Then I realized it was her. Her, the only one who could stop the tears falling out from my eyes. Her, the only one who could make my heart beat this fast. I fell in love with her more when I saw her, and she smiled because she knew.

I smiled at her and she smiled at me. Her smile is alluring and enticing. I step forward and I hug her. There is emotion in the hug and a form of love. Emotion that comes from honesty and the form of love that exists between people whose minds have touched, whose hearts have touched, whose souls have touched. She was startled; I can feel it from her body. I released her and placed my forehead onto hers.

"You waited.." I said as I circled my arms around her waist. I can feel her breath, I can smell her hair. _Intoxicating._ _Captivating._

"You're cold." she said as she holds onto my chest. Her voice sounded like a music to my ears. _Mesmerizing. Hypnotizing. Enchanting. That's what she is._

"Warm me up then..." I closed my eyes as I gave her a grin. She then pressed her body to mine, closing the gap between us.

I felt her warm body flourishes within me; warming every part of my body and every bit of my heart. Heart that only keeps pounding faster and faster as she breathe over into my ears. I hug her tighter, never letting go this person holding me tightly. In her arms is where I belong. Around her is where I'll always be. _Warm and loving..._

**ooo00000ooo**

**Michiru's POV**

**December 24**

**11:30 PM**

I walk back to the park still hoping she'll show up. Hoping for someone that may never come. Still, I'll wait... Wait for her to come; to stop the tears falling out of my eyes and to mend this broken heart of mine. Her, the one who I haven't even seen. Her, the one who is in control of me. Her, the only one 

who can take this pain away. I clenched the paper in my hand as I keep repeating the words she wrote in my head _'I'll wait..I'll be there..' _Words that pierced right through my heart. Heart that she long had stolen. A tear again run down my face, not warm but a cold feeling accompanied by it.

As I reached the bridge, I saw a blonde woman sitting on the bench. I walked closer as the image begun to unfold. I stopped as I realized who she was. I dropped the coffee can I was holding, stunned by the image in front of me. She stood up and faced me. I stared at her and she stares right back at me. _Silent._ That's what we did when we looked at each other.

She broke off from the gaze as I saw her looking down at the paper I was holding. Then I realize it was her. Her, the reason for my tears. Her, the reason for this emotions. Emotions that gushed out as her eyes looked directly into mine. Eyes that looked right through my heart. Eyes compassionately looking at me.. inside of me. She smiled at me gently and so lovingly. I smiled back at her, realizing why I was in love with her in the first place.

She smiled at me and I smiled back. Her smile is bewitching and enthralling. She steps forward and encircles her arms around my body, pulling me into a tight embrace. I felt the warmth sensation as she embraces me. There is passion in the embrace. Passion that comes out from strong desire. Desire of yearning for someone. Through her embrace she spoke a thousand words, without even saying one. And her embrace was all I needed to know. She pulled back and placed her forehead over mine.

"You waited.." she said as she encircled her arms around my waist. She spoke gently and softly. I brought my hands onto her chest and felt her shivering body.

"You're cold." I said as I looked at what she was wearing: a bathrobe over her shirt and pants. She breathed out deeply and I can feel her breath. _Tempting. Inviting _

"Warm me up then..." She replied as she closes her eyes and gave me a grin. _So simple; so subtle; yet her words were like a summon to all my foolish blood._ I brought my arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. I felt my body overflows with desire for her. Desire nothing more than to be in her heart forever. She hugs me tighter. I smiled because it only meant one thing. I never felt my body and my heart united until she hugged me. In her arms is where I'll never let go. Around her is where my heart will always be. _Love and needed..._

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**Haruka's POV**

**December 25**

**6:00 AM**

I woke up and saw her sleeping peacefully beside me. I watched her sleep in my arms. Her simple movement in her face warms my heart dearly. The same feeling I felt when I watched her listening intently to the orchestra before at the concert. I looked at her lips as it started to curve up and murmur words in her sleep. I can still feel the warm touch of her lips from last night's kiss. So soft; so delicate; so pure; and so loving.

_I say I'm in love with her. What does that mean? It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I'm suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself. Like a genius, she is ignorant of what she does. _

Unaware of what she can do to me. Like the way I get weak in the knees when I get lost in her eyes. It's the way I can't breathe when I'm around her. It's the way our hands match perfectly. It's the way my heart skips a beat when I see her. It's the way she catches all of my attention by not even saying a word. It's the way she makes the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. It's the way I act like a five-year-old in love all over again. It's the way she hugs and kisses me. It's the way she makes me fall in love ... The mere sense of having her beside me is all enough. I brushed off the hair falling from her face as I cupped her left cheek with my right palm and kissed her gently on the lips. This is where I belong. Around her is where I'm supposed to be. _Contended and loved all inside her arms_. I closed my eyes as I felt my heart hurting again and with deep sigh, I whispered softly to her ears...

"I love you, Michiru Kaioh..."as a single tear run down from my face. My hold loosened from her body as I felt my heart getting weaker. I smiled as how my life had been completed. Now I know my love for her will never fade even after death...

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**AN: Thanks for reading! Edited version, and yes I know I suck...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Another Chapter!! hope you guys will like it enough to review!...seriously... lol...**

**Sorry about the late update.. I've typed 25 paged reflection paper about morality... sucks really... how am I supposed to reflect on things that I'm not in interest of... and way out of my course.. way out...**

**This will be short... sorry in advance... it's supposed to be long but I cut this chapter into two.. chapter 8 and 9... so yeah that explains the shortness of this chapter**

**Okay I've revised this chapter since Mantaray said I lack information about Michiru knowing the condition of Haruka... I hope this would do...**

**R&R.. **

**AU setting**

**Here we go!**

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**Chapter 8**

**Michiru's POV**

I stood there, stunned as I looked at the nurses and doctors making their way to the hospital corridors pushing the bed where she was laying on top. My tears slowly pouring down at the image in front of me. Tears, I'm not in control of. _One minute she was in my arms; so close that I can feel her breathe... But now, I'm not able to reach her; so far that my hands can't get a hold of her._ She's slowly fading away from me. In my eyes, her I can't see. Just when you thought you have found someone, something happens and take them away from you. Losing. Much more painful than waiting. Still I stand here, unable to move nor do anything. Tears flowing, yet I'm not crying nor do I feel anything. I can't cry and I wonder what's wrong with me. Wrong? Definitely there is and now I know why. My heart had died along with her... I feel numb... My heart feels numb..

"Michi, it's going to be okay..." Mako placed her hand over my shoulder, trying to comfort me. She can't. No one can. It's a reality. It's the truth.

_When I opened my eyes this morning, I saw her face. Face I want to see as I wake up in the morning. Face that would greet me as I wake up and face I would last see before I go to sleep. Her face. I stared at her and smiled as I saw the smile on her lips. So delicate; so pure; so fragile. She was so close in my arms that I felt are hearts being one... _

_I placed my left palm on her cheek and kissed her softly on the lips. I wiped away the tears on her eyes as I whispered my good morning to her. I wake her up and there's no response. I stroke her short sandy blonde hair and again said my good morning to her. She didn't move. Then I felt a pang in my heart as if something is wrong. I moved my hand over to her nose to see if she's breathing, but there's no air... I tried to wake her up again, shaking both of her shoulders, and she didn't even move. She didn't move..._

"Is she gonna die?" I asked her straight forwardly, not moving from where I stand nor where I looked. I need to know. I have to know. Yet deep down, I don't want to hear what she's going to say. I'm afraid.

"I don't know." she said, trying to comfort me though her voice was enough for me to know what Haruka's state is. I closed my eyes as I hear her say something again "She has a weak heart..." _Weak? Yet the way she loves me is so strong... _"Her heart fails to pump enough blood needed by the body. And it gradually worsens in time..." she explained to me, still my heart trying hard not to listen to her.

"Isn't there a way to cure it? How about surgery?!" I felt sudden rise of my emotions as I say those words. "There must be way." _There should be.. _Then I felt the pain in my heart as I started to cry. She circled her arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I cried out loud onto her chest. Releasing every bit of agony in my heart. Dream. That's what I'm wishing this would be. Just a dream and soon I'll wake up from this nightmare. _Wake me up, please..._

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**Shimako's POV**

We sat on the row of chairs on the lobby as we waited patiently for the doctor to come. I was shocked this morning when Michiru called me and informed me about Haruka. Then I realized it was her. My best friend. The same woman Haruka fell in love with. I think to myself as to how small the world really is, then again how cruel it is to them. I looked at my friend sitting beside me and noticed that she had stopped from crying yet the pain in her heart is still there. It hurts. And I know cause I can feel it. This is the sole reason why I stopped Haruka from any of this. Yet when she said those words back then in the hospital, it seems that any reason I say to her was wrong and she was right. But right now, it's not. Tell me, if it's even worth the hurt, the pain, the tears? If what Haruka did is worth any of this? That the love Haruka was saying to me is worth any of this? The love that only lasted what.. about 7-8 hours? I say to myself, it's not. Not when someone's crying. Not when someone's hurting. Not when I see my friend like this.

"Miss Aoi Shimako-san?" I looked up and saw a man with glasses standing in front of us. I stood up and held out my hands to him

"Doctor Tanaka." I said in reply. I looked over to my friend and saw her standing up as well

"Tenoh-san's resting in room 324. You can go and visit her now." then without any hesitation, my friend left hurriedly not even bothering saying anything before she left. I looked back at the doctor as he said another word "Miss Aoi-san, could I have a word with you?" I saw the worried looked on his face that only made me feel more uneasy. I nod as I felt something terrible will happen next. We sat on the chair as he began to explain things to me.

"She won't live for long. I say two weeks maybe unless we do a heart transplant."

"And the possibility for her to live if she took the operation?"

"Is not really a guarantee. It all depends if her body accepts the heart. But this is the best possible solution we could see." he said as he looked directly into my eyes. _Best?! _

"There's no best solution, Doctor Tanaka. She'll live for a while if she won't take the surgery, but not long enough if she take the surgery that is to say if it would be a success. But if it fails, she'll die immediately. Tell me, what's the best thing in there?" giving him an ire glare. I was distressed about the situation. He closed his eyes and stood up from the chair. Facing me, he then opened his mouth

"Miss Aoi-san, tell me if she would like to push through with the operation. If she does we'll send her to the hospital in the states to conduct the operation." and before I could even say another word, He turned around and walked away from me.

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**Michiru Parallel**

-Michiru's POV-

I reached room 324, and entered immediately. As soon as I'm inside, I saw her on the bed, oxygen nasal cannula on her nose and a dextrose attached on her right hand. The image in front me is disheartening that my heart ache all over again. I saw her looked at me and gave me a warm smile. I tried to smile but only to fail miserably. _I can't smile. How can I smile when all I see is her in that condition?_ Then I felt my tears slowly pouring down again, still trying hard to give her a smile. She waved her hand to me. I walk over to her left side only to be pulled by her onto the bed. I was startled by her sudden gesture, but soon I found myself cuddling onto the left side of her body. Her left arm is placed around my waist. Comforting my troubled feelings; calming my anxieties away ; easing every bit of agony in my heart. I cried onto her, realizing how tormenting the situation is to me. Then I felt her head moved to her right side and in between breaths, she whispered something to me..

"go..me..ne.." My eyes grew bigger as I heard her say those words. I cried harder than before, knowing the meaning beneath her words. She hold me tighter and closer to her body. _Please don't say that... It makes me feel uneasy... Please..._

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**Haruka Parallel**

-Haruka's POV-

I heard the sound of the door opening, so I turn to look at the person entering. It was her. She looked at me in a way that I don't want to be looked at, especially her. She stared at me, tears slowly falling down from her eyes. _Please don't look at me like that... _I tried hard to give her a gentle smile, assuring her I'm okay, that everthing will be alright. She smiled back but I felt she was trying as hard as I was. I waved my hands for her to walk beside me. She nodded and walked to the left side of the bed. I pulled her hand making her fall onto the bed and lay beside me. I wrapped my left arm around her waist; to comfort her, to ease her pain, to do anything that I can do to calm any bit of worries in her heart. I felt her face buried onto my side as she started crying._ Please don't cry.. not for me... Please... _I turned my head to the opposite side as I felt my eyes starting to get watery. I bit my lower lip, trying hard to suppress my tears. _I don't deserve your tears... _Hearing her cry is more painful than anticipating my death. Death. I never feared death or the reality of I'm dying soon, but right now, her in my arms, is what I'm most afraid of- that dying would only mean losing and hurting her at the same time. I cried softly and in between breaths, I whispered to her

"go...me...ne..." she cried harder than before. I felt my heart tearing apart at the sound of her crying. _This I can't take.. _I hold her tighter and pulled her closer to me. _Please not this... my heart can't take this... Please..._

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**Shimako Parallel**

-Shimako's POV-

I walked to the room where my two friends are as soon as the doctor left me. Reaching the room, I looked through the rectangular glass window on the door and saw Michiru on the bed, sleeping in Haruka's left arm. My tall friend's left hand gently caressing my smaller friend's hair, tears on my blonde friend's eyes. The sight in front of me is painful; agonizing; excruciating. Unbearable. That's what it is. I looked away and slowly I sat on the floor, my back leaning on the door. I cried as I felt my heart breaking apart. Why? I ask myself. _Why does it have to be this way? They don't deserve any of this... _I covered my face with my hands as I continue to cry. _The hurt, the pain and the tears are worth the love Haruka's telling me? Is it worth any of this? _Now I say yes. It does. It's worth everything. Even if it lasted for 7 hours or even if it lasted for a second, it doesn't matter because to them it lasted a lifetime...

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**A/N: that's the end of chapter 8!! 2 more to go!! thanks for reading!! hope you guys liked it enough to review!!lol...**

**Thanks to those who reviewed!!**

**Now you guys know what Haruka's sickness is..**

**petiyaka: sorry about killing Haruka before in chapter 7... **

**I'm really honestly considering all your opinions...**

**Again to those who have reviewed, THANKS A LOT!!!! really really appreciate it!! it honestly encourages me to write and hopefully faster update...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Another Chapter!! hope you guys will like it enough to review!...seriously... lol...**

**Sorry about the late update... This is written in a rush (I just had a 2 ½ hours break from school... so what a better way to do with your break than to update, ne?)... so again I'm terribly sorry for that.. though I still hope I get reviews for this... lol**

**A little note: I added something in chapter 8.. just a little really... so to answer Mantaray's question... I just hoped it satisfies him/her...**

**R&R.. **

**AU setting**

**Here we go!**

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**Chapter 9**

**Michiru's POV**

I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at her. She was sleeping peacefully. Her face, so tranquil; so serene; like she doesn't have any bit of worries in her heart. I smiled at her weakly as tears again started to make their way out of my eyes. I reached for the hand caressing my hair, and kissed the palm and the back of it. I cupped her right cheek with my left palm and rubbed her cheek gently with my thumb. I lifted my head up and placed it over her chest, listening intently to her heartbeat _'Don't stop at me... please... don't... '_ I closed my eyes as tears started to fall down uncontrollably.Why? I have to ask._ Why does it have to be this way. Why her? Why me? Why this? Why? You let the two of us meet and in just a blink of an eye.. I don't want to think about it.. yet... Why?!_ I gritted my teeth with these thoughts. _This is torture... my heart endlessly being cut with these thoughts of her dying... _I sobbed silently onto her chest until I heard a door opening. I turned to look at the person standing and saw my friend's melancholic face.

"Can I have a word with you?" she said in a whisper as she gave me a smile and pointed her finger outside. I nodded and removed myself from Haruka's hold. I stood up and kissed her forehead before I followed Mako outside. Once outside, Mako looked directly into my eyes and spoke with seriousness in her voice "The doctor said she has two weeks to live."

"How about the surgery?"

"Is not really a guarantee." as she said those words, I slowly started losing hope. I closed my eyes as I felt the pain in my heart "I need you to go home and take a rest, Michi-chan."

"No! I'll stay here beside her."

"I know what you're feeling but right now-"

"Know?! You don't even have a clue what I'm going through, Shimako!"

"I do Michiru. I clearly do and it's a lot more painful than yours!" she said out loud as she started crying. I was stunned by her sudden outburst of emotions that I only stood there and continued listening to her "I knew her before you even met her. I took care of her when no one's around to do that for her. I loved her before you even came into her life. I gave her my life, and she gave me a kiss on the forehead. You only gave her a letter but then she gave you her heart. Her touch; her kiss; her love; that I can never feel. You have those. I have none. So don't tell me that I don't have a clue what you're going through, cause I do!" I stepped forward and pulled her into a tight embrace. She then cried out loud onto my chest, releasing all the hidden emotions she had.

"Gomen, Mako-chan.." I gently stroke the back of her head to comfort her. She continued to cry onto my chest as I started to tear up as well. We stood there for minutes until she stopped herself from crying. She moved away and looked directly into my eyes. I nodded as I have understood what she was telling me. "I'll see her tomorrow." I released her from the hug and walked through the door. I entered and walked directly to Haruka's side. I kissed her again on the forehead and whispered something in her ear. I walked back to Mako as she accompanied me outside the hospital. Then I left and headed myself to my apartment.

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**Haruka's POV**

I woke up as soon as I felt Michiru's lips on my forehead. I saw her walking out of my room with Shimako. Then, I heard a woman shouting and after a few seconds I realize it was my manager. I looked at the window on the door as I listened to them talking. After a quite some time, both seemed to have stop from talking and I heard Shimako cried out loud which only pained my my heart deeply. Then minutes passed, I heard the door opening. I hurriedly went back to my before position and pretended that I was asleep. I felt Michiru standing beside me and lowered her body as she gave me another kissed on the forehead. I can feel her breathe as she whispered this words in my ears _'Wait for me..' _pain and misery in her voice. I tried hard in suppressing my tears and the urge of pulling her into a tight embrace. I closed my eyes as I waited for them to leave the room. At the sound of the door closing, I promptly opened my eyes and sat up straight as I waited for my manager to come back.

After a couple of minutes, Shimako entered the room and looked directly at me, half surprised. I smiled at her and she tried hard to smile back. She walked to the chair beside me and took a sit, still my eyes never leaving her. I saw the worried look on her face as she stared right back at me. I closed my eyes as I moved my head looking straight at the crucifix in front of me.

"_death... _I always thought Jesus never felt scared of dying, somehow I knew it wasn't true. There was a part of him that did... I know we're both the same. We're both afraid of losing someone we love..." I turned to look at her as she intently listened to what I'm saying "I've never been so scared of dying cause I know there's nothing to lose in my life, but now it consumes every bit of that belief in my heart. I want to live. I want to be by her side. I want to hold her, Kiss her, Love her." giving her my warmest smile as I said those words "I'll go through with the surgery."

"Why now? You said before you don't want to go into such operation! That it only gives people a mere hope to live."

"Then I want that mere hope."

"It won't be a guarantee, Haruka."

"I know."

"If it fails you'll die immediately. Two weeks is longer than that."

"I've got two weeks without operation..."

"Yes, Dr. Tanaka said you've got at least two weeks. And It's better."

"It's far worse than dying immediately. It'll give you something that will eventually end."

"And how about the operation? Isn't it the same?!"

"Iie... I'll die trying to live. And other is just waiting for myself to die." I saw her face softened and tears slowly falling from her cheeks. She stood up and walked towards me, and gave me a hug. I circled my arms around her, my other hand gently stroking her head "Gomene, for not noticing..." I whispered softly to her ears. She released herself from the embrace and looked directly into my eyes

"It was never there to begin with." she said as she pointed her finger unto my heart. "If it was, you would never wrote a letter." giving me a smile as she wiped her tears away. "I'll talk to Dr. Tanaka. You should continue to rest." she stood up and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I smiled as she waved her hand and left the room.

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**Michiru Parallel **

**-Michiru's POV-**

A soon as I arrived at my apartment, I saw someone sitting outside the door. I walked closer and closer, and noticed a face familiar to me.

"Yuriko?"

"Michi, you're back!" she stood up from her position and brushed off the dust on her skirt

"What are you doing here?" I asked. It's rare for a relative of mine to come and visit me at my place

"I want to.." she walked closer to me but stopped as she saw the tears on my face "Why are you crying? Is something wrong? Is it her?" She asked as she grab both of my shoulders. I looked at her as I felt my tears welling up again in my eyes._ Her... She's in pain. Pain, I can't ease... _I covered my face with my hands as my tears started to fall uncontrollably down my cheeks. I felt her arms around my body as she hugged me tightly.

"It's okay." _No it's not Yuriko. Not when it's like this. Not when you know what can happen. Not when you know that there will be nothing left of you when she's gone. Nothing... Other than the pain in my heart... _I cried hard onto her chest as she only held me tighter.

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**-Yuriko's POV-**

We entered her apartment a soon as she had stopped from crying. She walked over to the sofa and took a sit. I followed her and sat at the opposite side of where she sat. I stared at her as she only looked at the snow globe laying on top of the table. By the looks of it, she had been crying ever since. Her eyes were swollen and her mouth were dried up. She then reached for the snow globe and hold it closed to her heart. My eyes followed every movement she made and made it's rest to her face. The curiosity for her tears keeps coming into my mind. I took a deep breath as I decided to ask her something

"Is she the one made you cry, Michi?" I asked her but there was no answer. I looked at what she was holding and continued to ask "Did she gave that to you?" I saw her nod as she gave a weak smile "What's wrong then?" She then turned to look up at me and opened her mouth

"I may not be able to see her again and the worst thing about it is that there's nothing I can do." again she gave me another one of her weak smile. This is the first time I've seen her like this. Not when her parent's died. Not when she was abandoned my relatives. Not ever. Yet now, she's like this to someone she had just met yesterday. _I don't get it. I don't get why she's like this; Why she's acting this way; Why she's saying those words. _Then I heard her continue to say something "She's sick." I was left unable to speak anything. Her last words got through me. Then after a few seconds, I realize how tormenting this is to my cousin. I walk over to her and again I pulled her into an embrace. This is all I could do to her. I wish I could do more, but there's nothing else for me to do than to tell her this '_it's going to be okay' _This little words of encouragement that you wish would help her. You say this words even if you know it won't. Yet we keep saying it cause we want to hope for it. Hoping for something we yearn so deeply.

"It's going to be okay, Michiru." _It will be.. this is something I hope for..._

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**A/N: that's the end of chapter 9!! okay I'll stop here cause I'm really really late for my next class... really sorry, for this chapter was written in a rush... I said before in chapter 8 that there will only be 2 chaps left, well I'm kind of mistaken. I'll say it again: there's 2 more chaps left. I forgot to include something in this chapter so I'll do it in the next chapter. And the 11th chapter would be my last chapter...**

**yeah I know non sense chapter... but we did know Haruka's decision.. still, I'm sorry again for this rushed chapter... I still hope to get reviews for this... I hope... this chap sucks cause I know it myself...lol**

**Haruka's knight: I know about what you said about not rushing my chapter, but this is the only free time I've got to update so really, I'm terribly sorry for this..**

**And to those who have reviewed thanks a lot!!! really appreciate it!!!**

**hey!**

**just click the 'Go' button below and type what ever you want to say. A minute of your life won't be such a waste since you've already wasted more minutes in reading my story!!! lol...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Another chapter!! hope you guys will like it enough to review!!!lol**

**Sorry for the late update... but it's a long chapter, so i hope it will compensate for my late update...**

**R&R.. really the last R, you guys should try and do it...lol**

**AU setting**

**Here we go!**

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**Chapter 10**

**Haruka Parallel**

-Haruka's POV-

I stayed still, resting my body on the bed while I wait for Shimako to come back. I stared out the window as I think to myself the past weeks that had happened into my life. The letter I wrote; the replies she made; Her touch; her kiss; her love. Safe; warmth; joy; desires; needed; loved; everything I felt when I'm near her and inside her arms. Her, surely I don't want to lose. Not now. Not ever. I'll live. _I'll live for her.. I will... _I laugh inwardly as these words came into mind. My life is like a drama series. Shows I laugh at as to how cliché the story is: _A man finds his true love. They'll be together for a while until the woman finds out that his sick. He decided to undergo surgery and the woman is beside her, giving him strength to live. His heart stops beating and the woman cried onto his chest. She kissed the man's lips and whispered into his ears 'I love you'. After a few seconds, his heart starts beating again, they kissed and lived happily ever after. _Funny yet I want that. I want her. I want to share my life with her...

My thoughts were soon disturbed by a sound of door opening. I turned to look around and saw Shimako entering. She walked over to me and sat at the chair beside my bed. I sat up straight from the bed and turned to face her.

"Dr. Tanaka told me that you'll be having you're surgery in Chicago." she said, seriousness and concerned in her voice

"I see." I smiled at her and turned my face to look at the crucifix in front of me. I raised my hand and placed it over my chest as I slowly closed my eyes and feel the beating of my heart.

"Haruka..." I hear her say my name, her voice sound worried "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I am." I said with certainty in my voice.

"Are you scared?"

"Would it calm you if I said no?" I turned back to look at her, directly into her eyes. "I am, Shimako. I'm in fear of how much I love her that it scares the hell out of me knowing what I would be losing if it fails. It's painful to think of it but it's more painful to think of losing her because I didn't try at all." _Two weeks. I'll live for two weeks without surgery. But what does it give me? Two weeks of being with her though my mind knows I'll die soon? Two weeks of holding her hand then you'll know you have to let go so soon? Two weeks of loving her then you'll know that in the end she'll be in much more pain and so are you? Two weeks of this promising love built and soon will shatter into pieces of bitter memories? Then this leaves me with nothing. Nothing at all... I know surgery will, though a thin line of hope to live, still it's something. Something that may lead to forever __and it's better than nothing.__ I don't want to be her past. I want to be her future... _

"We'll be leaving tomorrow morning for Chicago."

"I'll be ready then.." _I will be... I am..._

"I'll call Michiru to pack her things up."

"No, don't."

"Huh?"she stared at me half confused and half shocked

"I don't want her to come." I said, sternness in my voice

"Why?"

"I don't want her to see what I'm going through. I don't want her to sympathize with me. I don't want her to look at me with pity. I want her to look at me like the way we first laid our eyes at each other at the park. I want that... not the look she gave me when she saw me laying on this bed."

"But.."

"I can't take those looks, Shimako. Especially if it's her. It pains me." I inhaled and exhaled and continued talking "I'll return to see her look at me the way she had looked at me before. I will.."_ I must.._

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**Michiru Parallel**

-Michiru's POV-

"She's sick" I clearly stated, seeing the confused look my cousin is giving me. After a few seconds, Yuriko stood up from her chair and walked over to where I was and pulled me in a tight embrace.

"It will be okay, Michiru" she said as she stroked the back of my head. _Okay? How? _

"You don't understand Yuriko! How could it possibly be okay when you know that she'll be dying soon!?" I shouted in frustration. "It won't be, Yuriko... It won't.." I said in a whisper as I felt my heart aching all over again. "She made me fall in love with her and now she's leaving me... and it hurts..."

"You fell in love with her, Michi. She did not force you to and I know that it's not in her intention to hurt you." she said as she released me from the embrace and looked directly into my eyes, her hands holding unto my shoulders

"If it's not, then why didn't she tell me about her condition?!"

"If you knew she was sick, would the way you feel for her change?"

"I don't know... yes... no... maybe... I don't know.."

"Do you regret falling for her?" _Regret?_

"I..." her words left me unable to say anything. _Do I regret replying to her letter?_ _Do I regret meeting her? Do I regret holding her hands? Do I regret the hug I gave her? Do I regret the kiss we shared?Do I regret giving my heart to her? Do I regret everything that had happened between us? If I regret loving her then I regret all of this but... I don't regret what I'm feeling for her... I don't... I know it cause It's the first time in my life I felt that I was actually living._ I turned to look away from her as she only gave me a warm smile, and continued to talk.

"So all I'm saying is to cry on my shoulder, cry everything you have left. Once you get back there, don't cry. Not in front of her. Not when she can see you. Not when she can hear you. It's more painful for her to see you like that, and it hurts her the most cause she knows she's responsible for your tears." Her words keep hitting me straight through the heart. She was right. And I'm being selfish about situation. She's in much more pain that I am. And here I am crying as if I'm the one with the heart condition. Then her voice broke me from my thoughts "Don't look at her with pity, Michi. Don't sympathize with her. It's the last thing she wants of you to see of her. Be strong for her, Michiru. Be strong." My eyes widened at those words. How could I be more insensitive! I should have known by the way she smiled at me when I stared at her back at the hospital. As realization keep hitting me, I started crying harder and louder onto Yuriko's chest.

_Be strong... but how?_

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**-Next Morning-**

**Haruka Parallel**

-Shimako's POV-

I am in the process of fixing the things that we will be bringing for today while waiting for Haruka to wake up. After packing, I heard the door opened and saw Dr. Tanaka entering. I turned my body to face him and greet him as I bowed half of my body. He greeted me back and walked over to the side of Haruka's bed. He waked my blond friend up who in turn only sat up straight from her bed. With the use of stethoscope, He checked Haruka's heart and different part of her body. As my blond friend finished from inhaling and exhaling deeply, Dr. Tanaka had finally finished with his check up. He walked straight to me and spoke in a mild voice

"We'll be living in thirty minutes. Have you packed all the things you both needed?"

"I already have."

"I'll see you later then."

"Hai. Thanks for everything doctor." bowing my head as to show my gratitude towards him. I heard him laugh that made me look up to him. He gave me a wide smile as he started to walk out of the room. My eyes followed him and then went back to look at Haruka.

"Are you ready?" I asked her. _How more dumb my question could ever get? _Though I really just want to know. Let's say her answer would give me a piece of mind. I looked at her as I waited patiently for her to answer.

"I am." she said in determination. She then stood up from her bed and walked towards me. "I am, Shimako. Don't worry." as she encircled her arms around me and pulled me in an embrace. Subconsciously, I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head unto her shoulder. We stood there, hugging each other for a couple of minutes in silence. I closed my eyes, as I once again felt the apprehension about the situation inside of me. And with a deep sigh, I broke the silence encircling the both of us.

"You smell." I joked. I felt her shoulder moved up and down. I'm guessing that she was laughing. I smiled at the thought of her finally giving me one of her genuine laughs.

"They say the mouth is nearest thing from the nose." she explained. A smart way to return my joke.

"Yes. But right now, your hair is." I said in a matter of fact tone. She then released me from the embrace and looked directly at my face.

"Rude." as she gave me those one of her 'hurt looks'

"Honest." returning her one of my 'upright looks'. She laughed and I giggled in return. She then walk over to the bath where she took her shower. "I'll just go outside to make some arrangements" I said as she only gave me 'Uh-huh' for an answer. I left the room and went for the information area.

After twenty minutes, I went back to Haruka's room and saw her all dressed up. I closed the door and took a sit on the chair

"What took you so long?" she questioned me. I looked at her from head to toe, checking up every bit of her body.

"What took you so early?" _Really how does she take a bath with such a small amount of time? _

"Should I elaborate it to you?" she joked. I rolled my eyes as I saw the smirk on her face. After a couple of minutes, a man walked in inside the room, wearing a polo with a dark blue tie and a black slacks. I stood up and faced him

"Dr. Tanaka" I greeted him as he only nodded in return. He then faced Haruka and spoke in his old age voice

"Finished?"

"Hai." answered my blond friend as she gave the doctor a smile.

"We should go now. Your flight will be leaving in an hour and a half." We both nodded and followed the doctor out of the room and to his car. With another last look at the hospital, we then took off and headed ourselves to the airport.

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**Michiru Parallel **

-Michiru's POV-

Yuriko's beetle car running 60 kph made its way to the streets of Tokyo. She's driving the car as fast as she could while I sat on the passenger's sit, clenching both of my fists over my chest.

_**------00000------**_

_-flashback-_

"_Michi?" said the woman in the other line_

"_Mako?"_

"_Hai."_

"_What's wrong?! Did something happen to Haruka?!" said Michiru in panic_

"_No. She's fine."_

"_I'll be there in an hour."_

"_You won't see us then."_

"_What?" confused in the aquamarine haired beauty's voice_

"_Haruka agreed to undergo surgery."_

"_When?"_

"_Yesterday. We'll be leaving in 20 minutes." informed Shimako_

"_Where?"_

"_Chicago"_

"_Why are you saying this to me just now?!"_

"_I made a promise.. but I broke it by calling you, Michiru."_

"_Haruka's?"_

"_..." the silence in Shimako's words were enough for Michiru to know the answer. She closed her eyes as she heard her friend speak again "I want you to come at the airport. Our flight leaves at 10:30" _

_-end of flashback-_

_**------00000------**_

I looked at a watch and saw that it was already 9:30. I felt my heart slowly breaking apart as I started losing hope that I'll be able to make it at the airport. Again, my tears made its way down my cheeks._ I wan to see her. I want to see her smile. I want to see her eyes looking at me. I want to touch her. __I want to kiss her. __I want to tell her I'll be right here waiting for her. __I want to tell her everything I feel. _I closed my eyes as I prayed silently.

After some time, we finally reached the airport. I went out of the car and hurriedly ran inside. Once inside, I looked over at the flight board displayed above us.

_UA9561 __Chicago, USA 10:30 ----- _

_NZ119 Sydney, Australia 9:30 Departed_

_TG4862 __Bangkok, Thailand __10:00 __Departed _

I felt my heart jumping with joy as I saw that her flight haven't departed yet. I ran again to one of the counter and asked where the flight UA9561 was boarding. Giving the directions, I made my way to where it was. My mind and my heart keep praying over and over again for me to be able to see her again. I stopped as I reached the place. I saw Shimako talking to a blond woman. I walked slowly towards them and noticed the smile on my friends face. My heart keep pounding harder and harder at every step I take. I stopped as I saw the blond woman turning around to face me. I stood there staring at her and so does she. _I made it... _

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**Haruka Parallel**

-Haruka's POV-

Shimako and I stood in front of the UA9561 boarding area as we waited for us to be accommodated by the stewardess. We talked for a couple of minutes until I saw Shimako not looking at me anymore and smiling at something behind me. I turned around to look at where she was looking and surprised to see a woman with aquamarine hair standing 5 feet away from me. I felt my heart warming up again as I saw the image in front of me. I walked towards her and so does she without breaking any eye contact. We stopped as we were only a feet away and stared at each other.

I stared at her and she looked straight back at me. In our eyes is the love we share that words could not describe off to. _The words I love you are not for anyone to say from their mouth to their beloved one. It's a feeling that you can whisper to each other from heart-to-heart without saying it aloud._ I smiled at her; smile that is only reserved for her; smile only she could have, tender and loving smile. I reached for her left hand with my right and slowly placed it over my heart. Her eyes followed my hand until it made its rest onto my face. She looked at me questioningly as I affectionately looked straight into her eyes. _Through her eyes my world can be seen... There rests my future..._

"Sometimes someone says something really small and simple, and it fits perfectly right into this empty place in your heart." _Her simple replies meant everything to me. That simple but that genuine. Her words fitted perfectly inside my heart. The things she said in those letters have _She looked at her left hand as it was placed over my heart. I saw her smile; smile I know was for me; smile I know that only me could have. I placed my other hand at the back of her head and pulled her into a tight embrace. I closed my eyes, savoring every bit of her in my body. The smell of her hair, the way her hand feels as she touches me, her hot breath as she breathed in my ears, her warm body against mine, the feeling of her heartbeat as it matches mine. Feeling everything of her and remembering how this all feels. I opened my eyes again and whispered softly and gently in her ears...

"I'm not lonely anymore, Michiru." _you crossed the bridge and without you knowing it, made its way right into my heart. _"I'm with you." I released her from the hug and stared right into her eyes. I leaned down as my lips found its destination to hers. It wasn't passionate, yet the kiss we shared was purely out of what we felt for each other. It's sweet; It's subtle; it's enchanting; It's haunting; It will for always be when I kiss her lips. We parted and I slowly released her left hand. I wiped her tears away and rubbed her cheeks with my left thumb. "Wait for me..." She was about to say something but I stopped her in doing so. _Not now, Michiru.. don't tell me yet.. Soon..._ I stepped back away from her as I heard the stewardess calling for us. I looked at her and gave her my last smile _When I found you, I felt as if my heart found its destination..._

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**Michiru's POV**

I walked slowly to her and so does she, our eyes never breaking the eye contact. We stopped a feet away from each other. She smiled at me, Her smile I know was reserved only for me; Smile I know was only created for me. She slowly reached for my left hand and placed it over to her heart. I looked at her in confusion as she only looked at me with those loving eyes of hers. She then spoke with gentleness in her voice

"Sometimes someone says something really small and simple, and it fits perfectly right into this empty place in your heart." I looked over to my hand placed over her chest and smiled as I knew what she meant by those words. Smile that only her could see; Smile that only she can have. _She make every pain in my body go away with just the sound of her voice_. She then lifted her other hand, placing it at the back of my head pulling me into a tight embrace. I can smell her lovely hair. I can feel her breathe over my ears. I feel her warm body over mine. And the beating of our hearts as being one. I closed my eyes, feeling everything of her in me. Then I felt her head moved and slowly whispered in my ears

"I'm not lonely anymore, Michiru." my eyes widened in surprised with what she had just said. Remembering clearly what I first wrote to her."I'm with you." I felt my tears slowly falling down at those words. _Be strong. Don't _cry.. She released me from the embrace and looked directly into my eyes. She slowly leaned down as my lips catches her soft ones. The kiss wasn't out of lust but out of what we strongly feel for each other, the love we have and forever will have. We parted and slowly released her grasp to my hand. She cupped my cheeks as she wiped my tears away. "Wait for me.." she said softly to me. _'I love you'_ I thought to myself. I gather up all the courage I have and opened my mouth to say these words but only to be stopped by her finger. I looked at her quite confused with what she did but the look in her eyes made it all clear to me. I heard the stewardess calling her and saw Haruka stepping back. Giving me her last look, she smiled and went on board the plane.

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**Haruka Parallel**

"Why did you stop her?"

"I don't want to steal anything from her."

"Steal?"

"Her words. I want to hear those words when I return." _but not now... _

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**A/N: that's the end of chapter 10!!! 1 more to go!! Hope you liked this chapter enough for you guys to review!! **

**God how mushy and cliché this chapter could ever get?!lol... **

**I'm done doing chapter 11, though I'll post it when you guys start to review!!lol**

**Anyway I'm also planning on posting the original ending for this story.. so tell me if you guys would like to read the original ending so that I'll post it after chapter 11... I'll post it if there are enough people that would like to know what my real ending was supposed to be... **

**heatqueen: a life threatening review...lol**

**Reusch: Iie. I feel the same way when I read other stories. I remember myself crying to one of ethnewinter's fic for marimite... (yeah, I'm plugging her.. she's a really fantastic writer!!)**

**And to those of you who have reviewed THANKS A LOT!! knowing that there are people reading my story, encourages me to write and update fast!! thanks again!!!**

**Thanks for reading!!! **

**Hey Guys!!**

**just click the 'go' button bellow and write whatever you want to write, just keep it in mind that it's a review for my story..lol... anyway since you've been reading this, it won't take much of your time to review, right? Still I thank you for reading my story!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Last chapter!! finally!! hope you like this one!!**

**Anyway before I start, I would like to say sorry for the late update. I was really planning on posting this earlier but unfortunately my laptop got infected with virus. Reformatting it was the solution. Thus erasing all of the stories I have written. Chap 11 and my original ending for The Letter, Chap 2 for My Stepmother and chap 3 for Rain... kinda frustrating cause I haven't printed out a hard copy. So I have to remember everything once again. And having three different stories makes it really harder for me.. This will be short. This is the closest I can get in remembering what I had written before... so I hope you would be nice with the review, that is if you're planning on reviewing... with that said..**

**Let's start!!**

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**Chapter 11 **

**Michiru's POV**

Two months had passed since the day I had let go of Haruka's arms and the last day felt the warm touch of her lips. What I have with her is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing her, and the pain I feel from not having her close. It is worth it because she is my one and only. When I picture myself years from now, I see only her. No matter how painful distance can be, not having her in my life would be worse. That's why I keep waiting for her to come back. I'll wait no matter what cause I know she's the only one I want, I need, I wished for and I have ever loved. And nothing will ever changed that fact. Nothing...

But when you think about the past months, It's really ridiculous to fall in love with her this fast since we've just been exchanging letters. Then again, It's more incredible than the ordinary one. Cause in this way, you know that you have fallen for something that's beneath its surface. Not the face, Not what you can see, but what's deep within that person and that is what one should look into. I love her in that way and it's unbelievable; It's surreal; and It's remarkable. Nothing will ever comes as close as to her.

I walk inside the library and greeted the librarian. Everytime I finish my day job, I always go to the library and stay, in hopes of the possibility of her being here or the possibility that she might walk in. I always sit on the same chair I always have been sitting on and start reminiscing the past months that had occurred in this magical world called library. The time I picked the red book and read it. The time I decided to reply onto the letter I found. The moment I shared myself to someone I haven't met. The times I laugh because of her. The time she had gotten me the snow globe. The moment my heart experienced an indescribable feeling. I don't regret everything that happened and what I did. I know cause I'll do it over and over again. Everything. It felt like everything that happened in my life had occurred in this little place and it's all because of the red book.

The red book. I asked the librarian for that book since I haven't seen it when I looked for it in the novel area. She told me someone had already borrowed it. That book, holds something special in me. That book lead me to a place where I felt wanted, needed and loved. A place where there's someone at the other end waiting for me. The red book led me to her, my future, my forever. I gaze at the sky outside the window and felt some peace within me. Cause somewhere, somehow, I know that she's looking at the same sky and knowing that we're living under it. Even though she's far way, her love still remains; I can feel it around. It embraces me and holds me tight, night after night.

After a couple of hours the sun started to set down, I stood up and walk towards the door. I stopped and my eyes widened in surprise as I saw a familiar face walking towards me. I smiled at her and she smiled back at me.

"Michi" she greeted me as she gave me a hug.

"Mako." I said her name as I hug her in return. After a couple of seconds, she released me from the hug and looked directly into my eyes. The look in her eyes made me feel uneasy. She then led me to sit back on the chair for us to have a talk. I sat down on the chair and waited patiently for her to talk. The quiet surrounding didn't help at all. It made me more aware of the fast beating of my heart. _If she's here, Haruka must have arrived! But why isn't she here?_ She stayed quiet and still on the chair as she only gave me a worried stare. I'm getting agitated by the situation every second pass. I closed my eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply before opening my mouth.

"Where's Haruka?" I finally asked her. My heart only kept beating faster and faster. I saw her sigh and then spoke

"She's still in the hospital."

"Is she fine?"

"She's recovering from the operation."

"Will she be okay after? Can she return to her normal life?"

"The doctor said, she'll be that is if her body accepts the heart. Right now, she's able to stay alive because of the machines attached to her." her words slashed through me. My heart suddenly felt heavy. Pain growing inside of me that tears started to dwell up in my eyes

"But-" I cried before I even finished what I was trying to say. I felt her hand grabs mine and heard her spoke in a mild voice

"She'll live. She's trying her hardest to stay alive, Michiru. So please don't cry as if she's dying." again I was told not to cry. But how could I not when you know there's something wrong and it pains you so bad that crying is your only refuge. Haw can I be strong in times like this? How can anyone be? Even if you try, It won't stop cause you know that the only one who could stop this is the one who started all of this. I tried to stop but it only got worse. She then moved and sat beside me. I cried unto her as she only stroke my back in sign of comfort. We stayed an hour until the librarian approached us.

"We will be closing soon."

"Hai. We'll be leaving right away. Gomene for the troubles." I heard my friend replied back I stopped myself from crying and looked up at Mako. She smiled to me gently and spoke softly "Michi, we should go now. You're late for your night job." I nodded and looked at my wrist watch. I was late already for an hour.

"Yes, you're right. I'll be leaving now. Thanks for visiting me." I stood up and gave her a sincere smile. She smiled back and nodded in return. We then left the library together. I headed straight for the coffee shop and she in turn maybe headed for her apartment.

The walk to the coffee shop was long and cold. It was already February and I still feel cold. It wasn't supposed to be this cold in this month. Then I wonder if it's the surrounding or the feeling deep with in me. _I miss her_ my heart keeps saying it aloud. I want to see her. I want to touch her. I want to feel her touch, warm this cold feeling of mine.I walk alone thinking over and over again about her. Wishing for her to be holding my hand, making me laugh and assuring me with her kiss.

I finally arrived the coffee shop and saw that the light were all closed. I walk closer and looked inside through the windows. It was dark making it harder for me to see what's inside. We're closed? I wonder why. Nobody said about having a day off today. And even if there is, why would it be on the hottest selling day of the week? Curiosity was killing me. I walked towards the door and tried to open it. And to my surprise it was unlocked. I walked inside slowly and looked around. I stopped as I felt myself stepping on something. I picked it up and it felt silky and soft. Then it started, tiny green lights started to show up. _Fireflies.. _The surrounding started to glow radiantly. My eyes widen in awe as everything around me began to unfold. White petals everywhere; on the floor, on the chairs; and so are white flowers. The same bell shaped flowers as before. I felt my heart beating faster and faster. I looked around trying to find any sign of her. None. But then on the counter table, I saw a rectangular shaped gift laying on top. I walked towards it and grabbed the gift. I tear the wrapper, unraveling what's inside. _This is.. _the thing I have been looking for was right here in my hands. I hugged the red book closer to me as tears again made its way down my cheeks. I looked down the book and saw a piece of paper in between the pages. I smiled as I picked the paper up.

"_**I'm Home...**_

_**H.T"**_

My eyes widen in surprise as I read those two words. How magical those words of her that my heart only felt warm again. I circled around in my position to look for her. I stopped facing the door. I saw her outside, smile on her face as her hands placed inside her pants' pockets. I felt my mouth forming a smile, wide enough for anybody to know what I'm feeling. It was like everything around us has stopped and disappeared, and only the both of had stayed. There was a feeling of exuberance when I finally saw her face. I dropped the book on the table and walked towards the door as my heart only kept warmer and warmer. I opened the door and stepped forward her. We're a feet apart, though it might be close , it's still is too far from me. I saw her open up her arms and I in turn only threw myself in her. It's warm, It's ecstasy; It's bliss; It's everything there is in her arms. She released me from the hug and leaned down to me. I moved forward and caught her lips. The nostalgic feeling have been erased once I felt her warm lips touched mine. The kiss was simple; subtle and it's priceless. Everything I need to know is in that kiss. _I missed her.. I truly did... _We stopped ourselves from kissing, and placed her forehead over mine. Teal eyes looking straight into my blue ones, she then spoke

"Tell me." she smiled at me. I closed my eyes indulging the sound of her voice, her heartbeat and the warmth of her breath. Her voice I missed, so hypnotizing; her warm breath, so tempting, so alluring; Her heartbeat I longed to feel. I opened my eyes and smiled.

"I love you Haruka Tenoh." I said in my utmost compassionate and loving voice. She then kissed me again; more passionate than before. I've been searching for that someone, to show me the way, to take my hand and tell me that everything will be fine; I've been searching for that someone, and now I know it's true, I've found that special someone, I've found that someone in her. _This fits.. This is right.. This is love after all..._

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Love is the greatest feeling you will ever have, yet it is also one of the greatest sorrows. There is so much suffering, but then there are times when the crying, pain, and heartache is worth it. Those moments are perfect, they are right. Those moments make all the suffering worth while. It's those moments we should live for. So I say to you give love a chance to swallow you up. Don't just think it will happen in a instant, it will surprise you before you know it, but it will be the most rewarding experience you will ever have. Trust me, I know and I did...Lastly know that there are many books in the library. Each book sure has a wonderful story that will never happen in reality. But as you fall in love, reality becomes a wonderful story better than any novel. It did. This is our story. The book of our lives. And in every chapter it just gets better and better...

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**A/N: that's the end!! and I hate it!! fuck limewire for infecting my laptop with virus!!! anyway this is the closest i could get with the ending I have written before my laptop got infected!! curse you!!**

**thanks for reading and reviewing!!**

**anyway please tell me if you like to read my original ending. I'll post it if there are many of you who would like to read it.**

**thanks again!!**

**please review!!hahaha**


	12. Important Message Read!

**Okay the next chapter will be the start of my original ending.**

**So everything you read from chapter 6-11, forget all of that. It's not part of my original ending.**

**I wrote that because most of the readers were asking for a happy ending.**

**So now I would like to give my original ending a chance.**

**I like to give out my opinions about loving after losing someone.**

**With this in mind, this isn't going to be an ending where Haruka lives.**

**Though it's still a happy ending, in my point of view. You'll soon know why I think it's still a happy ending even if someone dies.**

**Hope you would continue reading this. Keeping the same amount of support as you did in the previous chapter.**

**To Silentking: your question in your review will be answered in the upcoming chapters or maybe at the ending. **

**So with that said, please enjoy reading this version.**

**I'll not ask for reviews, since most people are being so stingy in giving me one.**

**Nice people give out reviews without being beg by the author!lol**

**hope my readers are nice enough though!haha**

**ENJOY!!**


	13. Original Letter 6

**Start of my original ending... hope you guys will like it enough to review!...lol...**

**R&R.. cheer me up, guys... lol**

**AU setting**

**Here we go!**

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**Chapter 6**

**December 24**

The aquamarine haired woman entered the library clutching her hand over her chest. Nervous as to what the person would reply or moreover if the person would even reply back to her. With another deep sigh, she walked over to the novel area and grabbed the red book. Like everyday, she sat on her usual spot and opened the book. She turned the pages as she felt her heart beating faster every page turned. She stopped as she found the piece of paper. She opened it and saw a different letter as to yesterday's. She smiled as she started to read it...

"_**I'm a pessimist though...**_

_**About this... **_

_**Everything right now...**_

_**What I'm feeling...**_

_**What I have become...**_

_**What you have become to me...**_

_**Fearing everything... **_

_**Fearing the possibility that this is true..**_

_**still,**_

_**I want to see you...**_

_**H.T"**_

"_**I'll wait for you at the park... **_

_**the bench near the bridge**_

_**I'll wait...**_

_**I'll be there..."**_

(a/n: refer to chap 3 about the pessimist thing)

Her smile grew wider as her heart beat faster. She folded the paper and unlike what she had been doing before, she didn't placed the letter inside the book but placed it inside her pocket. She smiled again, wider than before. The feeling within her is something she can't stop. Something she doesn't have in control with. And being not in control is something she hates yet somehow what she was feeling is something she definitely like to have. She stood up from her chair and returned the book. She then left the library, her smile never fading from her face.

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**Haruka Parallel**

**December 24**

**-Haruka's POV-**

Like everyday, I walked to my workplace after going the library. Arriving, I entered the room and saw Shimako on the phone. I walked pass her and sat on the sofa. After a couple of seconds, She hang the phone up and walked over to me. She then sat beside me, and I felt my heart beating faster and faster, seeing the look on her face as if she had found something.

"You're really late today. What are you doing in the library anyway?" there was something beneath those words of her that my heart keep pounding and pounding harder.

"I've finished reading the book I've been reading before." I replied hiding my nervousness. It's true I've finished reading something though it's not really the book still it's inside the book. I looked at her and saw the disbelief on her face. I looked away and stared at the plastic flower pot on top of the table. There was a moment of silence between us, that I can hear the fast beating of my heart very clearly. Then I heard her released a deep sigh.

"There will be a party held by the company tonight. Your presence is needed there." she said as she stood up from the sofa and walked over to the bookshelf.

"I can't come." I said plainly

"Why is that?" she was still looking at the books in the shelf

"I have plans."

"Plans? I'm the one making your plans."

"I have to.. meet someone tonight at the park.."

"Someone?" I see her cocking her left eyebrow from the side, she continued "The one you've been exchanging letters with." her reply caught me off guard which made my heart only to beat faster than before.

"Ha..How?" I uttered the only word that had crossed me. The expression on my face clearly giving her an answer that she was right about what she said.

"You've drop this." as she waved a paper on her hand. I looked closer and saw the letter that we have been exchanging in her hands. "Is this what you've been doing in the library?!" she turned to face me, displeased in her tone. I turned to look away from her ire glare. "For God's sake Haruka! I told you to stop! What were you thinking?!" as she walked closer and stood in front of me. I still refuse to look at her and stood up from the sofa.

"I have to go."

"Don't you walk away from me, Tenoh!" she grabbed my arm fiercely, making me turn and face her. "Why didn't you follow what I told you?" she said. _How could I possibly follow Shimako, when everytime I read her replies, it only made me unaware of everything. _

"I can't."

"I can't? What kind of answer is that?!" she shouted irritatedly. "You don't even know her name?!" _It's true that I don't have a clue what her name is. But what does it have to do with it?!_

"I know more than that."

"Like what? Tell me."

"That she's everything I ever needed... Everything I ever hoped for..."

"You don't even know this person!"

"I know her more than I know you..." I replied as I looked directly into her eyes. "I'm in love and it's wonderful.. This is wonderful.." I said plainly with a gentle smile on my face "I rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than living without it. Just one, Shimako. One."

"It's wrong to get involved in your condition!"

"I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than be alone for the right..." I said with no doubt in my voice as I gave her a gentle smile again. I grabbed my jacket and walked over the door. Then I hear her shout something

"Are you planning on doing this all over again?! Haven't you learned anything from before?!"

"This is different from what happened before." _far more different... _I tell her, my back still facing her.

"What difference does it make, Haruka? The end is still the same!"

"It's what I'm feeling that makes it different. It's what's inside of me that I can't simply ignore. This is the first. She is my first. And it's remarkable."

"Remarkable you say? Your first one ever.. then let me ask you, if you love her as you say you are then have you even thought about her? Does she even know your sick?" I stopped myself from grabbing the door knob. I stood there stunned by what Shimako had just said. Her words keep playing over and over my mind. Then I felt her standing beside me, looking directly at my face.

"You haven't. What will happen to her if something suddenly happens to you? Tell me, are you not being selfish to her? Isn't love free from any kind of selfishness?" her words pierced through me. I am being selfish. I never thought of those things and it never did crossed my mind. Then, I felt my head and my body hurting, like a hand squeezing it so hard. I suddenly lost my balance, my side hitting the wall as I grab a hold on the door knob to keep me from falling.

"Haruka, what's wrong?" Shimako shouted in panic as she placed her hand on my back.

"I'm okay..." I tried to tell her, but my condition seemed to only get worst. I breathe harder and harder. I looked up at her and saw everything around me whirling. I felt my body getting weaker and weaker. Then suddenly everything around me turned black and I felt my body falling onto the ground.

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**Michiru Parallel**

**December 24**

**-Coffee Shop-**

The aquamarine haired woman looked impatiently at the clock waiting for her shift to get over. _'Soon... just wait...' _she kept thinking over and over that she didn't even hear her co-waitress calling her over and over again.

"Michiru!" shouted the other waitress bringing the aquamarine haired beauty back to reality "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Remi-san" she said a little embarrassed. The other waitress just looked at her, with her left eyebrow raised. Remi then shrugged it off and continued with her speech.

"Anyway, the girls and I are having a Christmas Eve party. You should come."

"I can't. Thanks anyway." smiled the aquamarine beauty as she shook her head to her co-waitress

"Do you have plans?"

"Hai. I'm meeting someone." her smile grew wider as she realized how soon meeting this person will be.

"Finally!" said her co-waitress in relief. The aquamarine haired woman just stared at her questioningly, not really getting her co-worker's sigh in relief "We've been wondering about your smiling face lately. You always seemed happy this past week. So the girls and I were wondering the reason behind this charming smile of yours. I guess Yumi won. You are in love."

"Won? You wager on my feelings?"

"We did. Gomen!" Remi bowed her head as she apologized to the woman in front of her. "So whose this person that stole your heart?"

"I haven't met her" she said straight forwardly as she looked at her co-waitress confused face "We've been exchanging letters."

"Oh, I see. Intriguing. She must write one hell of a letter to make you feel that way."

"She does." as her smile only grew wider and wider. _'She really does..'_

"Good luck then!" as Remi walked over the counter. The aquamarine haired beauty only smiled in return and look over the wall clock '1 hour to go...' she thought and with another deep sigh, she walked over to the ordering customers.

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**Haruka Parallel**

**December 24**

**9:30 PM**

**-Hospital-**

The blonde woke up from her sleep and saw a woman sleeping on the chair beside her. She looked around, indulging every part of the room. She then realized where she was and looked over the clock in front of her '9:30' Realizing how late it already was, Haruka then sat straight which woke the sleeping woman up. She stood up and walked over to the other chair to get the bathrobe laying on top of it until a hand grabbed her shirt.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see her." the blonde looked at her in the eyes and smiled

"Your body is weak. You need to rest."

"I don't have time to rest."

"You're sick, Haruka! Can't you understand that?!"

"I do. Clearly enough to know that it's not a reason to shut your chance in love." the blonde paused and looked out the window beside her "I want to be happy, Shimako."

_-flashback-_

_(Haruka and Michiru walking home after the stop at the park)_

_"Hope... such a profound word isn't it?"_

_"Yes and yet it is all we have in the end..."_

_"And what if hoping won't do any good? Won't it just give you a lot more pain, to hope that is?"_

_"It's a lot better to hope than not to.. It's an essential to happiness in life. Something to do, something to love and something to hope for."_

_"Something to do...Something to love... Something to hope for... It sounds like I'm not living a happy life..."_

_"Start looking for it then."_

_"Why? Life will sooner or later end. It's an inevitable truth."_

_"True. But it is better to have something to remember than nothing at all..."_

_-end of flashback-_

"And if happiness is being with her, then I want to be standing right next to her."

"Are you even sure about this?!"

"I have never been sure in my entire life about anything but this... And this is something my heart decided upon itself.. It can't be stopped nor controlled... and when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible... I want to see her, Shimako."

"Rest of your life?! You don't have that much time. Rest and you might live longer."

"I don't want to live. I want to love first and live incidentally"

"How about her?! You're being selfish!"

"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty... at least let me have this piece of memory to take with me..."

"You'll regret doing this..."

"I'll regret not being able to see her."

"It will soon end!"

"I know...but it's worth reaching for." placing her hand on the hand grabbing her shirt "Please, let go Shimako." She smiled warmly to her manager. The pink haired woman looked away, and slowly released her hand from the blonde's shirt. "Thanks for taking care of me." as she kissed the forehead of the pink haired woman who in turn was taken back by the sudden kiss of the blonde. Grabbing the bathrobe, she opened the door and left the hospital.

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**Park**

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**Michiru's POV**

**9:30 PM**

I walked inside the park and sat beneath a cherry blossom tree. As I took a sit, I looked around and saw quite a few people, mostly couples inside the park. I sat on the bench alone and after quite some time, people started to leave. I suddenly felt the cold; the cold feeling of being alone or the cold feeling of the snow pouring down at me? I looked at a watch and saw that I have been waiting for an hour already. Some prank she had done to me. If not, some prank this twisted fate did to me. I felt my heart slowly breaking apart as I started losing hope that she'll show up. It's painful. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I clenched my hands over my chest to stop it from beating so hard. And soon I started to breakdown. My tears started to flow on its own. I can't stop it like the way I can't stop what I'm feeling. _Love takes hostages. It gets inside of you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. I cried and cried hard, reaching for something that had been long gone inside of me._ Now, I wonder how long she had stolen my heart...

**Haruka Parallel**

**11:00 PM**

**Haruka's POV**

I took a cab as soon as I left the hospital and now I'm stuck in traffic. _'How I hate Christmas Eve!!'_ I've been in here for an hour and it's really getting on my nerves! _'Please be there! Please wait.. Please..'_ I desperately prayed hard as I clenched my fist. I never believed in God. But how funny it is when you want or need something so bad we go and turn to him. I want her. I need her. She's all I want. She's all I need. She's everything I have ever wanted. Everything I ever needed. Everything, that simple but that real. And because of that I turn down my beliefs and prayed to Him.

Finally we reached the park, I immediately left the cab and run inside. _'Please wait..' _I keep praying as I run and run faster. I stopped as soon as I reached the bridge and walked towards the bench. No one.. nobody.. She didn't wait for me.. I stood there dumbfounded as to how the thread of fate had played me. Maybe this is what really is supposed to happen. We really aren't meant to see each other. Then it hit me. Something inside of me breaking and it's painful. _The pain is unrelenting, and what makes it intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come - not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. If there is mild relief, I know that it is only temporary; more pain will follow._ I felt something warm slowly pouring down my cheek... I reached for my eyes _'Tears?' _I tried to suppress it but it only keeps flowing... I stood there crying, my hands covering my face. Although the sky were full of stars, my heart felt empty... Now I wonder how long she had taken my heart away from me...

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**A/N: that's the end for chapter 6! yeah same with chap 6 before but I did some minimal revisions.. next upcoming chapters will be totally different.**

**I gave you guys a happy ending so now will go for my original ending! **

**So thanks for reading. I'll update this next week after everything in school is done!**


	14. Original Letter 7

**Another Chapter!! hope you guys will like it enough to review!...seriously... lol...**

**Before reading this,please do read My disclaimer.. I mean the chapter 12.. thanks**

**Written in a rush... gomene!**

**This will be a short one... sorry in advance**

**R&R.. **

**AU setting**

**Here we go!**

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**Chapter 7**

**Haruka's POV**

**December 24**

**11:30 PM (onwards)**

Hope. Such a profound word isn't it? Never in my life have I felt like hoping before. Neither a good tomorrow after my parents died nor a life of miracle after I found out I was sick. It's either I was realistic or the fact that I don't know what it means to hope. The idea of hoping never interest me or did I find it worth while. Giving you something to look forward to and in the end you'll end up more miserable than how you started. Risking everything you are, every little thing you are feeling; putting all your emotions in the line for a momentarily glimpse of bliss. And I hate it...

Yet I'm contradicting myself.. What I'm doing right now is hoping... though a fragment of it inside of me, still I sit here hoping to see her face and smile that would surely warm these cold feeling of mine. Hoping for her to walk and sit beside me; brush off the tears coming out of my eyes and comfort this never ending pain in my heart. Tears. I never cried when my parents died and never did a single drop escaped when I found out I was sick. Yet I'm crying for her. Her, the one I haven't even met. Her, the one who stole my heart. I wonder to myself why I have even loved her, if losing her would only be this painful. Far more painful than what my condition is. I cried, fear encircled my broken heart; not from dying, but the reality that I just lost her. _Lost?_ I laugh inwardly at how satirical the word sounds to me _'losing someone you never had to begin with...' _But then again the months I have spent, though we haven't seen each other, felt like she has been the closest thing that have ever came close to me... to my heart.. like she was a part of me and I was a part of her.. and this what makes it painful, the foreknowledge of losing half of myself once I leave this park...

With these in my mind and in my heart, I'll wait. I'll wait under this cold December evening sky. Waiting for something that may never come. It may be painful_ 'hoping and waiting will always be'_ but once what you hoped for and have waited for arrives, nothing can compare to the sweet feeling you will have.. _nothing... not one.. not even close.. _

So I'll be here, waiting. _Listening to the still, small voice in my heart will make hope into a reality._ I close my eyes, as the cold winter snow mixed the tears I cry.

After a while, my body was soon feeling numb from the cold atmosphere. I opened my eyes and tried to rub my hands together. A brief feeling of warmth was then felt in my hands yet I was still feeling cold inside. _Where are you?_ I asked this question over and over again as I started losing hope of her showing up. _Just like living on..._ I tried to cry once again yet there aren't any tears to cry any longer. I feel my eyes getting swollen, my lips all dried up and my body shivering. I wonder if this is how it suppose to end. If this is my punishment.. _Punishment? _I must be one hell of a sinner to receive such one.

Soon my thoughts were disrupted by a sound of footsteps coming in front of me. My heart suddenly skipped a beat when I realized it might be her walking towards me. With a smile on my face, I opened my eyes and looked up as fast as possible. Disappointed, my smile slowly vanished as soon as I saw the person walking towards me.

"Haruka." she spoke mildly, and a trace of sympathy all over her voice as she said my name. I decided not to look into her eyes and focused it instead on the pavement underneath us. She then wrapped my body with thick blanket she had brought over and took a sit beside me. We stayed there not uttering a single word to each other until a sound of fireworks broke the silent atmosphere around us "Merry Christmas." she spoke once again, in the happiest tone she could possibly express. I tried to smile but it seems that every single thing I try to do fails miserably._ Just like I tried to hope of her coming here.. _

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**Shimako's POV**

**December 24**

**11:30 PM (onwards)**

Following Haruka was nothing new to me. I have and will always follow her. So I followed her here, and watched her at distant. Watching her as she wait for someone she haven't even met and at the same time cry out for her. _I'm jealous._ I'm envious of her. And it's slowly taking its toll on me. I know it's something I shouldn't be feeling right now but I can't hold it in. I'm jealous as to how she managed to make Haruka feel this way. To cry her heart out for her. I was with her all this time. Been by her side when her parents died, been with her most of the years of my life. Through happiness and in pain. Yet she never cried. Not even once. Not for her parents. Not for me. Not even for herself. This is the first. First time I have seen her like this. _Crying._ Moreover for someone she haven't met. _Why?_

My eyes never leaving her. I stood behind one of the trees, near enough to notice what she was feeling but far enough for her to realize my presence, and watch every little thing she does. Every emotions her face expresses, her fast and uneasy breathing, and her body as it shivers from the coldness of the atmosphere. I gripped the blanket I brought with me and decided to move forward. To sit beside her and comfort her. It doesn't matter anymore if she doesn't like my company or be disappointed to see me. As her friend, I'll do whatever I can to ease her pain. This is all I can do to begin with.. This is what I've been doing ever since then... _Loving her at a distant... Hoping to be loved in return..._

I walked towards her and the closer I get the stronger I feel the pain in my heart is getting. I breathed deeply in and out and once again focused all my attention to her. In a blink of an eye, She moved her head straight up to look at me with a smile on her face. It's funny how Haruka smiles so wide only a thought of her and how quickly it fades as soon as she sees me. _And it hurts.._

"Haruka." I spoke out her name, trying hard not to let my sympathy out to her. She didn't even take a look at me. Not even a glimpse. She only bowed her head and looked at the snow covered pavement beneath us. I frowned, bothered by the way she's acting. I moved closer, wrapping the thick blanket around her body. Silent. That's what we both did as soon as I took a sit beside her. Not a single word was uttered between us. Not even a sigh was released. Sound of fireworks was the next thing I heard. _It's already Christmas. _I moved my head sideways and look at Haruka's troubled face. I opened my mouth and greeted her in the happiest tone I could possibly utter "Merry Christmas." She tried to curve up her lips but she can't seem to hide her emotions any longer as she miserably failed in doing so.

"You've waited long enough Haruka. We should go home right now."

"When does one know when it's enough? When to stop?" she asked, still not looking at me. "But how could one stop when one wants to continue hoping? How can I stop when I want to see her? How would this be enough when nothing has even started?"

"Then close your eyes and you won't see pain any longer."

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, Shimako." she finally addresses me in my name. And for once, the sound of her voice aches my heart. I continued staring at her as she continued with what she was saying. "But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel." and it was true. Surely one can't. Nobody can from the start. But along those feelings, one should learn when to stop. Know the line that separates yourself from getting hurt and stop when you're about to step on it.

"When love leaves our hearts we always have hope. Hope is what keeps our spirits alive and makes it easier on ourselves, because it's better than the truth." I told her as I gaze up on the starlit midnight sky of December.

"I'm lying to myself aren't I?" I hear her chuckling, though bitter about the situation. I look back at her and saw this unbearable pain in her face and the smile she's trying to emit "Cause it feels much better to think she'll be coming than accepting that she never will to begin with?" she paused. Haruka then moved her head up and finally looked at me. My eyes directly looking at her teal ones. Transparent it was. Clearly giving away all emotions she was hiding from me. "It does. Cause once I stop, I know how more painful it will get." then her face softens, and it aches my heart even more "I'll wait here and continue on with hoping for her to show up. I'll stay here until my body gives up on me."

"You're stubborn as always." I bluntly told her. I smiled and fortunately she returned the same smile I had given her. It warms my heart to know I could have such smile from her. I moved my body closer to her as she was only taken by surprise by what I did. "Then I'll stay here with you."

"We don't really differ from one another, do we?" said by my blond friend with a smile on her face. I smiled back as we both continued looking at the sky above us. We really are two stubborn people. "Arigato." she said in a soft and gentle whisper. I felt her head leaning on my shoulder. I sigh and look over my shoulder and saw Haruka sleeping. Then out of nowhere something had ache within me. Feeling that something was wrong in this. I raised my hand up and placed it under Haruka's nose. _She's not breathing! _I was getting more and more nervous and agitated by the situation. I moved my other hand and tried to feel the pulse from her right wrist. But there was nothing I felt._ No!_

"Haruka!" I shouted out her name but I received none in return._ Not even a slight movement from her. Not even one.._

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**A/N: that's the end of chapter 7!!! Thanks for reading!!! Merry Christmas!! or any similar greetings to that!**

**I have mixed the name.. haha Sakura instead of shimako..haha**

**heatqueen: sorry if chapter 6 doesn't made any difference.. This one's a little different though.. Thanks for reviewing**

**SilentKing: okay sinced you asked for this, I continued. I wasn't really in the mood for writing but what the hell..hahaha.. thanks for the review!**

**Reusch17: in exchange for your christmas fic! Thanks!**

**petiyaka: it's really nice to see two side of the story and feel the same thing once again, don't you think? Thanks!**

**Agent-Ayu: Really flattered by what you just written. Thanks a lot!**

**Rukamichi92: hmm. please don't hate me? Hey I have given you guys a happy ending already.. let's follow mine now.**

**Marquel: Like agent-ayu, really flattered by what you had written. thanks for the review!**

**BluexSavior: Well I already have done a happy ending. and it my point of view, t won't really be a sad ending.. hopefully a tearful one.. though out of joy...**

**Thanks for reading! and please do leave a review.. as a christmas gift..lol**


	15. Original Letter 8

**Ending changed.. very crucial for you to understand the next chapter**

**AU setting**

**Here we go!**

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**Chapter 8**

**Shimako's POV**

Morning wasn't as bright as it usually had welcomed me. Not when you're looking at the frail body of your blond friend lying on the bed, it surely won't be one. We've been in the hospital for 10 hours straight after her body gave up on her and I've been beside her, watching over her like what I always have been doing ever since. The moment I stood at this hospital with my hands supporting Haruka's body, doctors and nurses suddenly made their way to us. Grabbing Haruka off me and lifting her body onto a bed, I watched them as they pushed it through the hospital corridors down to the emergency room. I stood still, unable to move or react, as the image of her slowly fading from my sight and I prayed deep within my heart to whoever is up there that my friend would be alright.. _that this isn't it.. not now.. not this time.._

I woke up from my reverie and surprised to see my friend sitting up straight from the bed. Her melancholic face intently watching the images out the window and I only stared intently at her face as it gives aching emotions in me."Life is unfair, don't you think?" she said mixed with soft chuckles in between it . "It had been with me, and cruel as well. My parent's died in an early age, stayed in an orphanage, found out I was sick, yet I haven't said anything back. I continued to live without a single strand of animosity towards everything yet somehow, it still continually tortures me to the end."

"Haruka.." I uttered softly, saddened by the way she is right now.

"I thought about forgetting her. If I might not be able to see her it's the best way to forget everything about her. I tried really hard of doing such thing yet I can't do so. Like everything she have written is etched deeply in my heart. Those simple words written by her fits perfectly right in here, completing everything I have been missing all this time... So now I'm tying to forget a part of myself."

"Haruka, I.." I tried to say something, but I find no words to voice out. _What do I really want to say? What is it that I want to happen?_

"Unfair isn't it? I asked for only just one thing in this lifetime. One thing. To be able to see her, Shimako. I'm willing to give my last remaining ounce of energy to pass up this urge of seeing her; just a glimpse of her, a second of touching her hand, just a brief moment with her. If it would be my last as long as I'll be able to spend it with her, even for just a mere second, I'll never be as happy in my life as in that single time with her. I'm willing to give up everything.. Every single thing, Shimako..." she gave a warm gentle smile. Strong desire to see her radiates from her teal eyes and it pierce right through me. I can feel it. It swallows all of me and it made me hesitant to answer anything back. So I stayed still and listen as she goes on and on, while I try to endure the pain slowly piling up in me. Silent. A long moment of it had transpired between us. I only watched her as she bowed her head, still maintaining the same gentle smile formed in her lips. After a while, a tear finally run down from her cheek. She moved from her bed and went back to her sleeping position, hiding her face away from me. "I'll get back to sleeping, the doctors might check up on me." audible laughter she had released, yet I can hear the soft sound of her sobbing in between it. I stood up from my chair and tried to move towards her, comfort her if possible. "I need to be alone." she said seriously. I stopped my hand from touching her and for a moment there I hesitated to back away. "Please.." and she pleaded. Her pleading doesn't help from stopping me in comforting her but it made me realize that it wasn't me who she needs to be with right now. _I'm not her to begin with... _I walked out of her room and found myself breaking down to tears as I leaned onto the door behind me.

_Curiosity. _It did get the best of me. Though the desire to see Haruka smile brightly once again is the main reason why I'm standing right here, right now. Staring at this old public library in front of me and hopefully thinking that I might be able to see her. _Then what? _The same question I ask myself over and over again as I walked to this place. What if I see her, what will I do? Tell her about Haruka and hope that she'll come? Hopefully she.. what exactly am I hoping for to happen? I shrugged this thoughts off, and decided to walk inside. Brushing off the snow in my shoulders and removing my gloves off, I went on to approach the librarian.

"Good afternoon.." I narrowed my eyes and looked at the name tag pinned on her left chest. "Miss Ayano." she stopped from stamping the books and looked up at me with a friendly smile on her face

"May I help you?"

"Hai. I was hoping if you have seen a tall blond hair with green eyes coming in here these past weeks?"

"Oh yes. I remember him. He's really handsome. Not that much that look like him comes here, so it's really easy to remember someone like him" she blushed and kept going on and on about how 'handsome' Haruka is. I sigh and she noticed that I was beginning to get really impatient "Oh sorry about that. I have seen him. He always grab the same red colored book with gold stripe line in the middle, and then sits at the same spot everyday that he's here." she paused and then looked at me curiously "Why are you asking about this anyway?"

"Don't worry. He's my friend and works with me. He's always late for his job and so I wonder what's the reason behind it." I flashed her an assuring smile and she nodded and continued

"Well it happens when someone is really indulge with what they're reading. He stays for only a couple of hours then he's out of the library. I remember another person reading the same book. She always comes here an hour after the blond leaves. She always read the same book and sit at the opposite chair where the blond sits. Same thing happens everyday."

"Is that so?"

"Hai. But now your friend haven't shown up yet."

"He's on vacation. Hopefully he'll be back soon... _healthy.._" I told her, though the last word was said in a whisper. The librarian pouted and held up a book for me to see. _Pride and Prejudice?_

"I really wanted to give him this book to read. Cause yesterday, I read the book he's reading, but I found nothing that's interesting about it. Nothing in it is even funny. But whenever he reads it, he always smile so brightly, and it's the same with the woman reading the same book. So it made me wonder what's in it." _far more what's interesting inside the book.. _"But he's smile is surely a sight to see." another blush crept across the librarians face. I know. I'm aware of how endearing Haruka smile is and the feelings it brings me everytime she flashes a smile. That's why I'm here. To see her smile again, even though it's for someone as long as I can see her smile so brightly, then I'll be able to smile as well. "Is there anything else that I can help you with?" Ayano inquired. I shook my head and gave her an appreciative smile before taking a sit in one of the vacant tables.

There, farthest table from where Haruka sits, is where I waited for her to come. Not too far to see her and not too visible for that person to notice my presence.

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**Michiru's POV**

I went inside the library. I didn't even know why I went here after that incident the other day. It just feels like I don't have anywhere to go and this place is the right place where I should be. Maybe I'm still hoping. Hoping that she might have written something that I have forgotten to read. The reason why she wasn't able to come. Reasons that could help me recover from this tormenting pain in me. Pain resulted from feeling betrayed, from feeling abandoned. _Pain from being alone once again._ There must be a reason for it. _There is.. _I know this hopeful thinking won't get me anywhere but it make things much easier for me. Easier than accepting she had played with my emotions and left me crying that night. Leaving me feeling miserable of myself for getting fooled; for getting my heart be fooled. So I rather hope. Hope is what makes everything tolerable. That little spark in your heart, starting a fire in you, and warming up every single cell in your blood when all you have hoped for came true. Hoping is much better.. easier to do.._ Easier for me... _I walked to the novel area and grabbed the same red book I've been reading for the past months I've been in here. Like the other day I sat at the same spot I have been sitting on. I placed the red book on top of the table and began scanning for some sort of paper or any of the same kind where she might possibly have written on.

None. I found none. I stared at the book in disbelief as realization found its way in me. This only exemplified the end of everything that happened between us.. and I'm not ready to accept that.. I don't even know If I'll be able to wake up another morning not doing what I have been doing everyday. And if this is really it, I just can't accept the way it had ended. _I simply can't.. _My heart suddenly ached, like a hand gripping it firmly. It can't move, not even a beat. Squeezing it tightly and letting it bleed inside. I can't breathe.. _This hurts.._

"Michiru." I look up at my side and a worried face welcomed me, though the tears welling up in my eyes caused a blur vision of her. Then it happened, I finally broke down.

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**Shimako's POV**

Finally after an hour of waiting, a woman walked in the library. My eyes widen in surprise as soon as I got a full view image of her. _Michiru.. _I followed every movement she made and hoped that it wasn't her that Haruka had been exchanging letters with. Yet all my hopes have already given up on me as she grab the red book and went to sit at the opposite spot where Haruka sits. There she was. My bestfriend. The same woman Haruka fell in love with. I think to myself as to how small the world really is, then again how cruel it is to them. I watched her from a far as she desperately searches for Haruka's letter. _Hopeful and desperate she was._ She finally stopped and stared blankly at the book. Seeing her face look that way tores me apart. She's hurting. I know cause I can feel it. And it pains me more cause she has no clue of what's going on and even more when she's about to know everything.

I stood up from my chair and started walking towards her, hoping for the best.

"Michiru" I spoke her name gently. She looked up at me as her blue eyes were glittering with tears. Then finally, she broke down to tears.

"Mako.." so fragile her voice was. She's deeply hurting. Her heart and soul is. As one, they're crying for her. This. Seeing someone like this is the sole reason why I stopped Haruka from any of this. Yet when she said those words back then in the hospital, it seems that any reason I say to her was wrong and she was right. But right now, it's not. Tell me, if it's even worth the hurt, the pain, the tears? If what Haruka did is worth any of this? That the love Haruka was saying to me is worth any of this? It's not. Not when someone's crying. Not when someone's hurting. Not when I see my friend like this. And I don't want another friend of mine get hurt furrther than this.. This is the end of it.. _I have to protect you.. So please, forgive me for what I'm about to do..._

I sat beside her and circled my arms around her, pulling her in a tight embrace. She cried unto my chest, letting her heart's word be heard;_ be felt_. I tried to suppress the tears dare to escape from my eyes, and resume with massaging her back. To comfort her in outmost possible way; to calm the anxiety and to ease the pain enveloping her broken heart. I finally spoke out, removing any trace of hesitation in my voice "Whatever it is, Michiru.." I pretended not to know. and I rather not let her know "It'll be okay." I lied. And there's no regret in doing so. I will never be able to bring myself to tell her the truth. Not now and not ever. She'll cry for just a moment, she'll feel pain for now, she'll be unhappy for a week then it'll all be over. And it is better. _Much better._ Truth will only hurt her. She'll cry not just for a day, but everytime she remebers her, She'll feel pain much more tormenting than how she feels now; She'll be unhappy, and intolerable unhappiness it'll be. I can't let such thing happen. It may be selfish of me to do such thing, but you can't expect me to hurt them when they don't deserve any of it. Not even a single bit of it. _Not even close.._

Truth will never come out. Not from my mouth for her to hear. I rather live in lie, with this burden in me, than seeing her get more hurt than this. I rather be the one to clean up for this messed up mistake Haruka had done. I rather do this to myself. It'll be fine by myself...

_So now, Michiru, live your life.. _

_Forget about her. It is better to. _

_Much easier to accept... _

_Much easier for me to deal with..._

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! **

**Oh there's a poll in my profile, please check on it and answer it. It would really be a big help to me! thanks!**


	16. Original Letter 9

**I suggest you guys to read once again the previous chapter.. I've changed the ending..**

**The usual**

**Note: words in bold italics are flashbacks.. hmm.. well, to be clearer, it's what was said in the past conversation that was brought back again in thoughts.. I just made it more confusing, didn't I? lol**

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**Chapter 9**

**Shimako's POV**

I walked back to the hospital, though guilt consumes my heart and my soul, I don't regret what I have done. I would probably do exactly the same thing over and over again if it means keeping them from further harm or pain. It's not about a little act of heroism or simply brushing it of as selfishness, but it's something more than that. Foreseeing what will happen and what it would do to your friend, as much as possible you won't let any of it come true. Trust me on that, you surely won't. Not when you know in your heart that neither of them deserves any of this.

_Michiru... _she had gone through as much hardships Haruka had been through. Struggling most of her years to attain who and what she is right now. It is only till now that she had coped up with the tragedies in her life. Only till now that she had learned to smile again. And bringing Haruka's condition into light won't do anything good to her. She deserves to be happy. She deserves to live normally without this worries in mind and pain in her heart. And if keeping the truth from her would mean living her life free from worries and troubles, then I rather look into her eyes and lie that everything will be alright. If it means her having this, I rather live with this guilt in me.

I entered Haruka's room and saw her sitting upright on the bed, writing down something on a piece of paper. "What are you doing?" taking a sit on the chair beside her bed. It wasn't as if I didn't know what it was, I knew perfectly what she's doing and who she is writing for, with her whole heart pouring into just a small piece of white paper. A look on Haruka's face that only surface whenever it's about 'her'. But still I asked.

She smiles and I could clearly tell how genuine it is. "Writing down a letter with each passing day I wasn't able to see her." she paused "See her?" and let out a chuckle "I haven't even met her. Such contradicting I'm turning out to be.." her laugh lie lowed and soon her smile faded. "Yet it seems that with each letter exchanged, she was clearer to me than anything I have ever seen. More real than what I can see or touch." her voice so gentle.. so fragile..

"Don't you get tired? Why don't you stop this already, Haruka?"

"Does a person get tired of breathing? Do we even stop?" I was taken by surprise by her statement. She looked at me and spoke seriously "It's natural isn't it? We don't know we're doing it, it just naturally happens. And when we do, we try to control it but in the end you wouldn't know you already have failed, cause you have breathed once again without even noticing it." she paused as her lips started to form a smile, it was simple but real and heartfelt "It's the same with what I'm doing right now. Believe me, I tried to stop since I figured as much that it is useless to continue but I still kept on writing without me noticing it. It's something natural for me to do. Something I have grown up in doing. And something you have done every passing day of your life isn't easy to stop. So I'll write and hope that she may be able to read this, I don't care how, when or where, I just hope it'll happen."

"Come on, Haruka. This is enough.. Stop fooling yourself already." my voice was mild and tender, but straight forward it was.

"Have you ever fallen in love?" she asks weakly, so fragile her tone was. Like a glass ready to crack with just a simple touch of a finger.

"This isn't question of have been or haven't been, Haruka. Either way, it's enough to say that your's isn't love."

"Love.. How does one defines that anyway? Should it be told on how many kisses one shared with another? How many times they held their hands together? How many days they've been together? The countless I love you's said and heard? Or the moments they shared together regardless on how and in what way? The moments I shared with her.. for those few moments of my life, she made me feel as if I truly meant something to someone." _Harsh._ Her words are. Though I gave almost half of my life in taking care of her, it wasn't enough for her to feel how important she is to me. The troubles I went through and hardships I have encountered was all put to waste with just a simple word of honesty from her. And it simply hurts.

"Saying you're in love with someone you haven't seen moreover met in just a short span of time is ridiculous."

"Then is seeing the person important in order to fall in love? How about the blind then? Their disabilities cutting them from their privilege of falling in love... And me with my sickness too, is that it Shimako?"

"Haruka, you know what I mean."

"And it doesn't make any sense to me." she said honestly. "Loving her, it inspires me.. it gives me hope.. I have faith that even if I can't be with her on earth, that if God wills, if God does, I will be with her one day in heaven.. So tell me, how can this be so wrong when it feels right, Shimako?" looking at me straightly in the eyes. I was frozen as to how piercing her teal eyes are. Her face, the emotions she's expressing, gave uncertainty to run through me. There were thousand things my mind wants to say ye the way she looked at me, made me doubt myself. It was then that I wasn't able to return her question. I was at loss for words. She waited patiently for my reply.

"So how are you feeling Haruka-san?" Her stare trailed off to the doctor who entered the room. I released a soft sigh of relief before standing up and walking beside the doctor.

"Fine." Haruka said plainly. The doctor smiled and started checking up Haruka's heartbeat and breathing with his stethoscope.

"Sounds perfect. You should take your rest now. I'll be back to check up on you later." the doctor advised, removing the stethoscope in his ears. He then turned to look at me and his expression clearly giving away what he wanted to say. I nodded and he left. I sat back on the chair and waited for Haruka to fall asleep.

Minutes past, when my blond friend was finally asleep. I took this opportunity to walk outside and talk to Dr. Tanaka. I proceeded to his office and as expected he was there waiting for me. He gestured me to sit down which I accepted.

"We can't do anything with her condition anymore, Ms. Aoi-san." the doctor simply stated, in all truthfulness. I remained still unable to find my voice. He took this opportunity to explain why and I listened "The cancer cells is already spreading all over her body. If it had been treated 3 or 4 years earlier, we possibly could have remove all of it. Her body's fighting with it, but it won't be long till her body gives up on her. We'll try to prolong her life and minimize the pain, but that's the farther we can go."

"How long?" I asked, still blank expression on my face. I don't know how to react on what I just heard. My heart is still trying to catch up with what the doctor had said.

"Two days max." _two days.. Two days?! _

"That's too soon! Is there anything we could do?!" I shouted. I was upset. _How can this all be happening so fast?! Why this so sudden?!_

"All we could do right now is wait and hope for a miracle, Ms. Aoi-san." _Miracle?_ Is there such thing to begin with? Come on, Dr. Tanaka.._ Wait? _What do you expect from me? Watch my friend and pretend I never heard you saying those words; pretend that she's fine; pretend that she won't die tomorrow. How would I be able to do such thing? I don't even know if I can look at her without thinking what might happen tomorrow or if she still even breathing.. _What do you want me to do?_ I finally cried. I can't even stop it. Even if I try to stop it, it just flows naturally. _Like breathing, ne Haruka?_ I cried harder. Dr. Tanaka moved to my side and comforted me. Trying to ease the pain enclosing my heart. But he can't.. _nobody can..._

I started walking back to where Haruka was, still my body was trembling, my heart was encompassed with overwhelming fear of losing my friend so soon. I wanted to cry, but there aren't any tears to cry anymore. Even if I want to, there's nothing left of me. I stopped. I stood by the door looking over the rectangular window panel. Haruka's still sleeping. She looked peaceful but at the same time helpless. Clueless of the truth behind her condition. _But is she really? _Maybe from the beginning we set foot in this hospital, she already knew her fate but she still kept fighting back. She was fighting back cause there's still something keeping her to. Something she desired more than anything in the world._** I'm willing to give my last remaining ounce of energy to pass up this urge of seeing her. **_Someone... someone Haruka's been yearning to see.._** I want to see her, Shimako. **_To be with.. _**if happiness is being with her, then I want to be standing right next to her. **_Michiru... _**just a glimpse of her, a second of touching her hand, just a brief moment with her. If it would be my last as long as I'll be able to spend it with her, even for just a mere second, I'll never be as happy in my life as in that single time with her. **_Even if this would be the biggest mistake I would ever do in my entire life, I can't let this moment pass by. I have to do something about this. I know I'm contradicting myself.. but..._** I rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than living without it. Just one. **_I don't know if I could live this guilt in me anymore. I don't know if I can lie to her face again. I don't know if I can keep pretending.. There's no easy way out in here. Someone will always get hurt.. but I am certain that I want Haruka to see her._ So please Haruka, be strong._ Wait..._ wait for me... wait for her.._

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**Michiru's POV**

I'm broken, but I can't show it to my co-workers moreover the customers. So I put up a smile. I never felt something as simple as this would be so hard to do. Pretending to be okay when you're not. Pretending that there's nothing wrong when there is. Pretending to be someone you aren't. _Pretensions. _All that I am right now. All because of concealing my heart who is crying. But all will be just for tonight, right? Tomorrow will be something new. Tomorrow I'll smile like I never smiled before. Tomorrow I'll start a new.. _Tomorrow.. S_o for now, pretend, Michiru. Pretend that today's tomorrow and smile like you've never smiled before

I continued wiping the table when a loud sound of the door banging disturbed the whole café. I turned around and saw Mako panting. Her eyes were glistening with tears. Eyes that were full of fear. _Fear of what? _

"Mako" I uttered. She then quickly made her way towards me, grabbing my left hand with hers and dragging me out of the café. "What's wrong?" I said as I removed my hand from her grasp.

" Just come with me please." she pleaded taking once again my hand.

"Tell me what's wrong?" I asked again, more demanding than before.

"It's her."

"Who?" I inquired. She turned around now tears dripping down in her eyes.

"Haruka! She's H.T.!"she admitted. I was stunned. At first I doubted her, but when she revealed the letter in her hands there's nothing else for me to do than to believe her. Suddenly, Mako's next words was something I had never expected or prepared for to hear. "She's dying!" _How ironic. How cruel._ When I was finally able to see her, something wrong happens. But.. this time... even for just a second.. _Can I still pretend to smile?_

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**A/N: thanks for reading! and thanks for the reviews! I'm guessing less than 2 chapters left..**

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	17. Original Letter 10

**For those reading My stepmother, expect an update tomorrow **

**For the meantime, please do enjoy reading this.**

**Short one..**

**Thanks to Karis for helping me!! sealed hugs and kisses.. lol**

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**Chapter 10**

**Haruka's POV**

I woke up and found myself alone in my room. Surprising for me not to see Shimako by my side, but thankful to have this time alone by myself. I sat up straight from the bed and grab the pen and paper on the desk._ Is this wrong? What I have done and what I'm still doing is wrong?_ I wonder if this is all wrong. If trying to find a meaning for my life is something I shouldn't have done. Was it wrong to strive something as simple as this is a sin? Is it because I'm dying soon makes this all wrong?

I still don't get it. Shimako kept telling me not to fall in love, to stop doing things that would hurt other people._ Hurt. _It's a definite that I'll hurt her, but truth to be told, it's not in my intentions to do so. I never expected this to happen. I never have foreseen the connection I'll be making with her. I never thought I'd smile or even laugh; be excited waking up in the morning; and wait patiently for her reply. Unexpected things happened ever since I met her. I try to pretend that there was nothing more to this than a simple infatuation. But how can it be just as simple as that when you haven't seen this person? And the only thing that envisions the other is the image created by your heart through the notes exchange. Through the honesty, sincerity and compassion shown to each other. From the other's mistakes, errors, or flaws, you still accept it with your whole heart and see nothing more but perfection in there. How can I pretend that it's infatuation when it's clear that it's love? So I wonder when it started... when I fell deeply in love with her without noticing it...

I stopped from writing. I placed the pen back on the table and folded the paper in my hand crosswise. Maybe this happened for a reason. Maybe meeting her was fate. Maybe with her, I could experience life at it's fullest. To experience life as it should be. To hope and to love... to experience everything to its extent even if death is approaching.. _Maybe it is, only to be done in a painful way..._

I lifted my head up and looked directly at the crucifix hanging by the wall. _I know that you can hear me. There's no use denying that I won't live long, and there's no use pretending that I am not afraid. I am. The mere knowledge of this is driving me crazy. But the fact that I want to see her, remains me in control of my body and my mind. So please wait. Wait till I'm able to see her... Let me breathe and live for a moment.. please hear my prayer this time... for one last time.._

I was soon disturbed when a soft sound of door creaking was heard. I turned my head sideways and saw Shimako standing by the door frame. Soft sobbing can sill be heard but she tries her hardest to hide it. She started walking beside me then taking the chair beside the bed. Trying her hardest to put up a smile, she spoke hiding any trace of sadness in her voice "Dr. Tanaka said you'll be back to normal with a few rests and medicines. They said in no time you'll be dis-"

"Shimako." I cut in. She stopped and looked at me. I smiled "It's okay now. You don't have to lie to me anymore. I know I'm gonna die sooner than any of us had expected."

"Haru-"

"I'm just hoping that that I'll be able to see her before I go."

"You have seen her before." Shimako suddenly voiced out. "It was that time when I wasn't able to go to the concert and let you accompany her." she tells me. Images of that day started flashing in front of me. Her face keep popping out. Shimako then continued, softly and gently admitting to me the truth "It's her, Hauka. My bestfriend is also the person you love."

"Michiru-san?"

"I went to see her. I told her everything about you." it didn't surprise me that she did this, but it made me happy. I smiled and her tears began to fell from her eyes. "I wanted you to see her. I wanted her to come and see you." she started crying harder and harder. Wiping her tears with back of her hands and apologizing to me in between breaths "Sorry... Sorry... Sorry.." I reached for her hand and pulled her down the bed. I circled my arms around her body and gave her a comforting hug.

"Thank you. Even if she's not here, the thought of you doing this for me is enough, Shimako."

"Forget about her..."

"I can't. It's impossible."

"But.."

_**xxxx0000xxxx**_

_-flashback-_

_Michiru's POV_

_I stood there unable to say or do anything, and let Mako drag my body wherever she wants. There are plenty of things running through my mind yet I can't catch any of them. I want to react yet I can't seem to find my voice. I want to cry but I can't. I just can't.. _

_The reality of Mako's confession suddenly began to hit me. My heart started aching. It felt heavier than before. It was painful. Excruciating pain it was. Intolerable and unbearable. Why? Why this? Why now? Why again? Questions I kept asking over and over again, but no answer seems to satisfy. When everything in my life started to get better, feel better, something wrong will happen and turn everything around._ _I gritted my teeth with these thoughts. This is torture... my heart endlessly being cut with these thoughts being true... with thoughts of her dying is true..._

_I stopped and it pulled Mako back. She swung around and looked at me questioningly. 'I want to smile. I want to live normally. Tomorrow will be the start of new day. Tomorrow I'll live the way I used to be. I won't cry; I won't feel pain. Tomorrow I'll smile like I never smiled before.' These are the thing my mind keeps fighting for, but my heart wants to see her. _

"_Please let go." I spoke softly, removing any trace of regret in my voice. _

"_Michi, Haruka is dying." she informed me once again as she gripped my hand tighter. My heart only pounded harder. I bit my lower lip and tried in my power not to let a tear to run down my eyes. I started to hesitate about my decision, but I can't keep crying forever._

"_You have to consider my feelings also, Mako." I said. My broken feelings… the feelings I would have to rebuild again. Why did this have to happen? To find someone I could possibly spend the rest of my life with, only to find their own life is at an end itself? Mako was looking at me, trying to search my eyes for the truth, but I could only show her the cold front I had put up, for my own safety, to protect my fragile heart. _

"_Michi.." weak, her voice was weak._

"_I can't see her anymore. I don't want to see her." I voiced out without even thinking. These words suddenly spilled out of my mouth, and I wasn't able to stop it. She looked at me in disbelief before frowning. I turned away before speaking once again "Tell her to forget about me. To stop thinking about me."_

"_Is this it, Michiru?"_

"_There was nothing in it to begin with." I lifted my left hand and placed it on her hand holding my other hand. "Please let go of me, Shimako." I said once again. Her eyes began to fume. She was angry and I can't blame her. I felt my tears starting fall down. I moved my head away from her stare and spun around, before I start regretting everything I had said. Walking back to the café, I clenched my hand over my chest. Then it happened. No more pretensions. I began to cry. _

_I want to see her.. but.._

_It's weak..._

_My heart is weak._

_-end of flashback-_

_**xxxx0000xxxx**_

"That's what she wants." she whispered, afraid to get me hurt more than what I am right now. It didn't come off as a surprise. I'm not angry nor do I feel bitter about everything or towards Michiru. I completely understand why. I just have to let my heart follow through with it...

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**A/N: the end for chap 10!! hope you like it!**

**anyway typos from previous chap. It's supposed to be less than 3 chaps left... so with that said, 2 more left! **

**Thanks for reading and for the reviews!!**


	18. Original Letter 11

**AU**

**R&R**

**Original Version**

**Note: The flashback part is found in Michiru's POV is found in chap 4(for referrence)**

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"_Michi, Haruka is dying." she informed me once again as she gripped my hand tighter. My heart only pounded harder. I bit my lower lip and tried in my power not to let a tear to run down my eyes. I started to hesitate about my decision, but I can't keep crying forever._

"_You have to consider my feelings also, Mako." I said. My broken feelings… the feelings I would have to rebuild again. Why did this have to happen? To find someone I could possibly spend the rest of my life with, only to find their own life is at an end itself? Mako was looking at me, trying to search my eyes for the truth, but I could only show her the cold front I had put up, for my own safety, to protect my fragile heart. _

"_Michi.." weak, her voice was weak._

"_I can't see her anymore. I don't want to see her." I voiced out without even thinking. These words suddenly spilled out of my mouth, and I wasn't able to stop it. She looked at me in disbelief before frowning. I turned away before speaking once again "Tell her to forget about me. To stop thinking about me."_

"_Is this it, Michiru?"_

"_There was nothing in it to begin with." I lifted my left hand and placed it on her hand holding my other hand. "Please let go of me, Shimako." I said once again. Her eyes began to fume. She was angry and I can't blame her. I as well will also be angry at me, but please don't blame me… Try to understand how also painful this is to. I felt my tears starting fall down. I moved my head away from her stare and spun around, before I start regretting everything I had said. Walking back to the café, I clenched my hand over my chest. Then it happened. No more pretensions. I began to cry. _

_I want to see her.. but.._

_It's weak..._

_My heart is weak._

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**Chapter 11**

**Michiru's POV**

_Arms._ Different arms were extended towards me, wrapping it firmly around my body. For comfort, safety, solace; arms that bridge out their concerns, arms that reassure me everything will be alright. Concerns awakened by my tears. Assurance that is oblivious of my situation.

_I hear voices._ Soft worried voices associated the gentle caress felt by my back. Voices and caresses, all in soothing these unbounded emotions I have. These voices release words of encouragement; words grounded by their own reasons; words lacking depth and understanding; words lacking truth and reality.

I try to look up and recognize these pair of arms wrapped around me, yet indistinct and vague images flashed right in front of my eyes. And for the first time, I found myself lost in these feelings.

I removed my body from these arms holding me and ran out to the cold winter streets outside. I kept running and running, leaving traces of tears along the way, and with no destination set in mind. I just want to get away from these, from all of these; from the pain slowly engulfing my heart and the reality of what is coming.

_Why? _One simple question I kept asking over and over again and no answer seem to satisfy. But even if there is, I just can't acknowledge it. I just can't. Even if it's reasonable, justifiable, rational or logical, it still is as it is; intolerable, unbearable, excruciating, tormenting. How could I then? How could I accept and pretend as if it's not hurting when I'm crying my heart out as if the only word it knows is pain?

I stopped and held the wall for support. My knees are trembling, my body is shivering, my mouth is quivering, my eyes are crying, and my heart is breaking. _When?_ When did I start feeling this way? When did I start losing my own control over my emotions? When did I become so helpless, so hopeless, and so fragile? When did I become like this?

I descended, my body meeting the cold pavement underneath me. I looked up, my hands reaching out to the dark, cold and dreary sky above me.

"_Do you know why this flower is called light of hope?" Haruka asks. Michiru shook her head and looks at what the blonde was holding. She saw a firefly on the blonde's right point finger and a white bell shape flower on her other hand_

_"A wise man once said: 'when it's dark enough, you could see the stars...'" As she said these words, the blonde places the firefly inside the flowers opening. The flower in turn started to glow radiantly. Michiru looked in awe at the glowing image in front of her_

"_Beautiful..." was the only word that the smaller woman could utter._

_Haruka smiled at the reaction of the woman in front of her and took her steps towards her._

"_be not afraid, nor be discourage… The stars will always be there to guide you… Just look up and you'll see the light. It'll always shine upon you…" She walks closer to the smaller woman and gave the flower to her. The smaller woman subconsciously grabs the flower and gave the blonde a smile._

_Stars…_ There are no stars, Haruka… Under this cold winter sky, as long as my heart is enveloped by these feelings, there will be no light to guide me… I cannot hope when everything seems to fall apart; when hoping would only lead to more pain.

So forgive me… I'm not strong enough to see you and tell you everything is alright. I can't look at you without crying nor can I speak of things I don't have the courage of. Forgive me for being a coward… I can't hurt myself more than Mayako had afflicted on me earlier on. This is right…

_But…_

Why am I hurting more than I actually anticipated? Why does it feel I'm doing something wrong; something horrible; something miserable?

I clutched my arms around my knees and leaned my head over it and started crying all over again. _I don't know anymore… I don't know what is right or what is wrong anymore. I don't want to get hurt, and yet…_

My mind suddenly got disrupted when I felt a person sat next to me.

"I finally found you." A familiar voice said in relief. "I went to your work and they told me you run off crying. They were all worried by the way and I as well, Michiru." I felt her intense gaze piercing right through me. I tried to neglect it and her presence as well, but her persistence won't let me.

"December is ending so soon. I never noticed it until I looked at my calendar this morning. Time moves fast don't you think?" she questioned me with a pure smile running across the corner of her lips. I dismissed her stare by looking away from her.

"This only proves that life comes and goes without us noticing it. But, at the very least, we should live every second of it as if it is our last." Her words struck me. She may never know what happened to me but her statement somehow made me realize everything and perhaps doubt a part of my decision.

"I know, if not the least, still one of them not you want to be with right now. I don't want to interfere with your personal affair or question your tears, but I'll be here by your side. And if you're ready to talk, I'll be here to listen." She said in her most comforting way. She may not be the person I wanted to be with at this very hour but her gentle voice, tender words and warm kindness uplifted a bit of heavy weight pressed against me.

I took my silence and she highly understood it as she sat beside me not uttering a single word after that.

"Yuriko…" I uttered between soft sobs. She looked at me waiting for another words for me to say while I kept my head up front, gazing at the empty road before us.

"She's dying…" I finally voiced out the words I feared thinking or saying. I looked at her, and my vision of her got blurry. She gasps and I was expecting it. She knew very well who I was talking about, and knew how I feel before then. Yuriko fell in deep silence again, and I took this opportunity to lash my feelings out.

"I shouldn't be hurting like this. I don't even know her. But I'm hurting like I've lost something I can never replace."

"Then what are you still doing here out in the street and not by her side?" she questioned, in a way as if neglecting what I just said and what I'm feeling at that moment; neglecting the idea of me hurting more if I see even just a glimpse of her lying on a hospital bed so helplessly.

"You love her don't you? Your body is honest with you, Michiru" she presses further. I bowed and smiled bitterly.

"I love her Yuriko, so much that it makes me laugh how ridiculous this is. But this love will never last when I know she'll leave me sooner than I could hold her in my arms."

"Love…." She paused briefly, her eyes wandering off to the sky then back at me. "…is not about being together forever. It's not about the start or the end. It's about what's between it. It is about the brief moment you spend with that person which you will hold forever. It is this little piece of memory kept hidden in our heart that we'll forever treasure; a piece of memory that we will always go back to and remember, for it is the strongest feeling we ever had." She said softly, compassionately and in a way, encouragingly. She looks up at the sky once again. She smiles and brought her finger up, pointing at something she just found.

"A star… a very small star, Michiru but is shines more brightly than ever." She smiles as she looks back at me. I followed her finger and saw the invisible star before shining so brilliantly at this very moment. "Even a very small degree of hope is enough to cause the birth of love, don't you think?"

Everything pass that my mind started drifting off to the moments I spent with Haruka. From the first letter she wrote, the first laughter I shared with her, the first concert event I spent with her, the first time I saw her, the first time I felt so excited waking up in the morning and reading her replies, and the first time I fell in love beyond physical attraction. Love is after all, wanting to spend every second you have with that person regardless how long it will last. Even if just a mere second for others, the memory created would last a lifetime.

"Michiru." I snapped out of my reverie when a heard Yuriko calling my name out. I turned to my side and found an empty spot right beside me.

"Michiru." She called once again, now my eyes drifted to the voice's direction and fell at Yuriko standing beside a cab with her hand opening the back door. "I think it's time to stop running away."

I stared at her for a couple of seconds before my smile finally found its way out of my lips. I smiled at her, a real smile, and a smile out of appreciation for all she had done; from the words of encouragement down to the words of self realization. I stood up from the pavement and walked towards her.

She met me with another encouraging smile and a glint of assurance in her eyes. I kissed her cheeks and it caught her by surprise but wave it off with another smile.

I entered the cab and she closes the door for me.

Maybe, just maybe, everything up to now has its reasons; reasons behind Haruka's letter; reasons behind my responses, reasons behind our meeting; reasons behind Yuriko's appearance. Reasons behind everything; behind the joy, the laughter, the pain, the trouble and the reasons behind this love I feel towards her.

And the only thing I can do is to act upon these strong feelings I have and hope that she's still there waiting for me.

_Haruka… wait for a little longer… I'll be there…_

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**Shimako's POV**

I took the pleasure of giving Haruka the silence she was asking for and left her all alone in her room. I'm also giving myself the pleasure of at least not hurting myself. I know for a fact that she's crying, and hearing even a faint sound of her weeping tears me apart, even more when I know I can't do anything to ease her.

I stood in front of a coffee vending machine and got myself a hot cup of cappuccino. When was it that I last slept peacefully without thinking what tomorrow has installed? When was it that I last slept without worrying what will happen when I open my eyes again? When was it when I felt unafraid of tomorrow? When was the last time?

I sip the coffee in my hand and started walking back at the room. My steps were stopped by a familiar voice causing a commotion behind me.

"Please you have to let me see her! I need to see her!"

I turned around and there she was, my friend. The person who refused to come with me is now desperately trying to make her way to Haruka.

"Miss I'm really sorry. But visiting hours is not until tomorrow."

"You don't understand I have to see Haruka Tenoh. Please tell me where her room is." She pleaded, almost crying.

"Miss, I'm sorry but-…"

"She's with me." I cut the nurse by the station off. She looks at me skeptically then replying my response with disapproval.

"Miss Aoi-san, you know we can't let-…"

"We may never have tomorrow, Takahashi-san." I replied honestly while I tried to intimidate her with my stare. It was hard letting those words out of my mouth but if this is the only way I could convince her, then I'll probably say it over and over again. "I'll take all responsibility for this."

"I can't be held responsible for something I never saw." The nurse replied turning her stare away from us. It was a simple sign of approval but it was enough.

I grabbed Michiru's hand and dragged her to Haruka's room. We maintained the silent between us and I was glad that we did. We both knew very well that no words could ever be said at this moment. But seeing her with hope and love glimmering in her eyes for my blonde friend, made me forgive what she did earlier on.

I stopped and brought her in front of the door. Her eyes focused on the door, hands clutching over her chest.

"She's been waiting for you." I said, patting her back for encouragement. I spun around and walked as far as possible from there.

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**Michiru's POV**

I walked inside the room, moonlight shining upon Haruka's frail body. I walked slower and quietly towards her, but her sudden movement struck me. I stood there staring at her emerald orbs and found myself utterly speechless. She was surprised to see me and I could solely attest to that, but her happiness overpowered her surprise as she sat straight from the bed and smiled so lovingly at me.

"God did listened to my prayers." She said, her face softening even more, molding into a form of love that only I could ever see from her. Her words were of depth meanings and are of highly powerful emotions. It is as if this is the only thing she had been longing… waiting for.

I bowed my head in shame, and felt my tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm sorry for denying you... I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry." I apologized endlessly along with the tears that I cry. I looked up at her and continued sobbing. "Will you ever forgive me?"

"How could I possibly hate the woman I love?" she smiles even more radiantly, gently and lovingly. Her smile and utter kindness left me feeling remorseful at what I did to her

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry…" I continued apologizing which was reciprocated by her kindness.

"Shh… Michiru." She held her hand out to me gesturing me to walk and stand beside her. And I did. I slowy took my steps towards her and rested my feet at the ground beside her bed.

"I want to hold you." She gently took hold of my hand and squeezed it in hers. She smiles "You're warm Michiru. The kind of warmth I never felt before."

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

She had her smiled up and spoke "Please don't apologize anymore. I understand. I completely do. So don't regret what you did, because at that time it was the right thing to do."

How could she show such complete and absolute kindness towards me without even a having a drop of remorse in it?

"I'm afraid to sleep." She uttered out of the blue taking me completely by surprise. "If this is a dream then I don't want to wake up… But if it isn't, I don't want to close my eyes. I may never see you if I do."

"I'll be here. I'll be holding your hand as you sleep. I'll always be by your side from now on, Haruka." I squeezed her hand for assurance. She chuckles and it made me question her response. "What are you laughing about?"

"I'm just happy. It's the first time I heard you saying my name."

I smiled and rubbed my thumb along her hand. She yawns and blinked a few times. She bid me her sweet goodnight as she closes her eyes. I leaned my head down and my lips met with her forehead then to her lips.

"Night, Ruka." I softly whispered in her ears as I brush the blonde bangs from her face. She murmured in her sleep before smiling once again. I sat on the chair, my hand still intact with hers, and fell in a deep slumber as well.

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**Haruka's POV**

I woke up and saw her sleeping peacefully beside me. I watched her as she sleeps. Her simple movement in her face warms my heart dearly. The same feeling I felt when I watched her listening intently to the orchestra before at the concert. I looked at her lips as it started to curve up and murmur words in her sleep. I can still feel the warm touch of her lips from last night's kiss. So soft; so delicate; so pure; and so loving.

Her eyes moved slightly and slowly it started opening up.

"Morning." I smiled and was returned with the same kind of smile. She lifted her hand up and cupped my cheek with it.

"You look pale." she said as she examined my face.

I chuckled and responded waving her worries of from what she's thinking "I look terrible."

"You do." She bluntly replied.

"I was expecting you to say something different." I faked a hurt expression and she giggled at it. Her laughter stopped as she stared in horror at my face. I felt something dripping down my nose. I wiped my hand over it and saw my blood. She went to my aid and grabbed the box of tissues on the table.

"Are you alright? Should I get the doctor?" she asked worriedly as she hands the tissues out to me.

"This happens a lot." I assured her. Her face still proved that she didn't believe me at all but dismissed it regardless her doubts. "Michiru…"

"Hai?"

"Would you call Shimako for me?" I asked her. She nodded and released her hand from mine. She walked towards the door and turned the knob.

"Michiru…" I called her name out again. She spun around and waits for me to speak again.

'_I love you…' _I wanted to tell her but it feels as if I'm doing something miserable if I do tell her. She kept her eyes lock on me and I smiled "Thank you."

Michiru smiled and somehow it made me realize the beautiful things I will be leaving in this world. She spun around and opened the door. She left the room and closes the door behind her, leaving me looking at the last place where she had stood.

_Michiru..._

The warmth of her hand is still burning in my own, the sensation of her soft delicate lips still lingers on my own, her pure innocent and loving smile flutters my heart strongly, her blue eyes as it sparkles with love I can't control is edged deep within me, the very essence of her lives withing my mind, my body and my soul. And it hurts to know that the love, so strong and so pure, I have for her is something I can never show her to the very extent. Knowing that something as beautiful and as perfect as she is, the love and solely everything, is something I can never experience pains my heart deeply.

But the mere sense of having her beside me is all I need. And just the simple act of being in love with her is enough for me.

I looked up, my eyes looking straight at the crucifix in front of me. My face softens and finally I gave him my outmost appreciative smile. _'Thank you.'_

I fell back on the bed and stared at the last place where Michiru stood. My vision slowly decreasing, my mind went blank, and the last thing I saw was the brilliance of her smile.

"I love you, Michiru Kaioh..." I whispered as a single tear run down from my face and hoped that somehow my voice was heard, if not by ear, then by heart. I smiled as how my life had been completed. Now I know my love for her will never fade even after death...

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**Michiru's POV**

I called out for Shimako as Haruka wanted and found her taking refuge at the waiting area. I went to her and woke her up. I told her Haruka was calling for her. She stood up from the chair without any protest and went with me.

Shimako and I walked together back at Haruka's room. And like last night, we maintained the awkward silence between us. I don't know what to say to her, I don't even know if she had forgiven me after what I did. I know that somehow a part of her hates me and possibly the half had understood me. Still the answer is unknown and silence was the best solution to have.

As we walked the hallway, countless nurses and few doctors came running in panic pass us. It made my heart pound harder and made me immensely agitated. I started walking in a fast pace to Haruka's room and Shimako followed my speed.

I stopped few feet away as my eyes caught sight of nurses coming inside Haruka's room and my ears from the frantic shouts their making. My mind kept telling that it's not Haruka's room. My heart kept on denying the possibility that this is true. My feet started moving on their own towards Haruka's room. Shimako followed me, her hands on my shoulder for support.

_(Fix You by Coldplay from 2:35-4:45)_

My body almost fell on the floor as soon as my eyes met with Haruka's lifeless body on the bed. The doctors kept reviving her with another strong electrocute shock but she won't give in.

"Clear!"

'_No! No! NO!!'_ I shouted inside as I burst out in tears. I tried to run to Haruka's side but Shimako's arm held me back. I fought hard and she won't let me go. I cried harder and harder as she dragged me outside the room.

I heard the doctors shouting the same word over and over again as they tried to keep her alive. I laid helplessly down the floor as soon as Shimako released me from her hold. I wasn't in control of my tears anymore, it kept falling and falling that it's painful to have it this way.

I clasped my hand together and prayed mentally to the one who brought us together. _Please hear me… Don't take her from me. Don't… I beg you of you… Please don't take her… She's all I have… Please not now… Please… hear me out… This is all I ask of you… I beg you… Don't take her from me… Don't…_

Along the strong pleading I kept doing was soon accompanied by a faint sound of flatline, but audible enough to have my heart denying everything.

I stared blankly as everything around me started whirling and the only thing that kept me in touch of reality was the warmth of Shimako's embrace.

'_Haruka!!'_

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**AN: not yet the end! One more to go! Thanks for reading! hope you guys would review!!**

**I might update My Stepmother or The Summer I called Love since I'm finished doing half of the both..**

**Sorry for not updating fast, been busy with school and everything!**

**Thanks again!**


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